Today marks five years since my mother passed away. Each anniversary has left me grappling with the swift passage of time. I’ve shared my thoughts in the past, focusing on my children, because nothing heightens maternal instincts quite like grief and loss.
Time has a way of stopping us in our tracks: one moment, my little boys are sprouting facial hair and growing into strong young men; the next, my daughters are transforming into captivating young women, complete with boyfriends and busy schedules that seem to multiply overnight. If I had a dollar for every friend who laments, “Where did the time go?” on social media, I’d be quite wealthy.
This year, however, I find myself feeling differently. While I’m still amazed at how fast time flies (and yes, I still can’t believe I can legally share a drink with half of my kids), I’ve become more accepting of its relentless march. This shift in perspective has filled me with excitement and hope for what lies ahead, even on the tougher days.
Graduations, college acceptances, engagements, and a stubborn boy finally getting a haircut—there’s so much joy in every corner of our lives, and it feels almost unfair not to embrace it. Honestly, if my mom knew there was anything but happiness surrounding her grandkids, she would be furious.
Though I miss her dearly, I find it hard to remain sad for long. That’s simply not the way she lived.
Turning 50 this year has undoubtedly influenced my mindset. Fifty. How did that come to be? I still remember celebrating my mother’s 50th with a surprise party in my cramped first apartment, cramming her friends in for a keg party, even though she wasn’t a beer drinker. She was surrounded by love, and that’s what mattered.
On these anniversaries, I think of the friends my mother left behind, feeling a profound sadness for their loss. She taught me well, and like her, I’ve surrounded myself with caring friends who are always just a call or a short drive away. Some even require a plane ride, but that’s the joy of deep connections.
Reflecting on my past, I remember how much I admired Erma Bombeck. During my senior year of college, I found one of her columns titled “No Greater Friend Than a Best Friend” and sent it to my best friend, Alice. We’ve spent most of our friendship in different states, but that column made its way back to me just a few months ago, a testament to our lasting bond.
It fills me with gratitude to have such a long-lasting friendship, and it’s heartwarming to know my mom is still a cherished memory for many people. I can’t help but poke fun at my children for not planning my 50th festivities, though I fully orchestrated every detail myself!
I think of her every single day, but today, I’m especially honoring her. You’re in the hearts and minds of so many today, Mom.
Cheers and love!
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Summary
Reflecting on the five-year anniversary of her mother’s passing, the author contemplates the swift passage of time and the joy found in family milestones. Despite the pain of loss, she embraces gratitude for friendships and the memories of her mother, celebrating her legacy.