In an ideal world, both parents share the responsibility of their child’s education. However, it’s often the mother who bears that burden. This year, I’m determined to change that narrative by ensuring my daughter’s school recognizes her father not just as a name on a form, but as an active participant.
As the new school year approached, I began receiving welcome emails and introductions from teachers. This time, I decided to take action. I promptly sent a brief message to the principal, stating, “We’re excited for the upcoming school year. Please include [my daughter’s father] in all communications. It’s essential for our family that he stays informed.“
Hitting “send” felt liberating. I refuse to let my partner be treated like an anomaly when he engages at school. The dynamic often sees him overlooked while I, as the mother, am expected to take the lead. His presence is usually met with exaggerated enthusiasm, which only highlights the disparity. When he finally voices an opinion, the reaction is almost reverent, as if his input is groundbreaking. This double standard is frustrating and emphasizes the outdated gender roles still prevalent in parenting.
Having grown up with an involved father, I know the impact of an engaged parent. He attended every meeting, helped with homework, and was always present. The expectations I have for my partner are rooted in my own experiences. Fathers should receive the same support and recognition as mothers, not be treated as secondary.
This is why I reached out to the school. I want them to think of me as a secondary figure, just as they do with fathers. Imagine a school year where I could walk in without expectations, feeling as though I belonged without the pressure to perform. However, that’s just a dream. Instead of lowering standards for fathers, we need to elevate them across the board. My partner deserves to be seen as an involved parent, not an afterthought. When it’s time to volunteer, I’ll be sure to pass along his contact information. And when the principal looks to me to take the lead, I’ll redirect that energy to him.
Not long after I sent my message, another father stepped up at a meeting, announcing plans for the next gathering. It was refreshing to see more dads take initiative, and it gave me hope for a more balanced approach in school involvement.
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In summary, schools must recognize the importance of both parents in a child’s education. By involving fathers equally, we can create a more balanced and supportive environment for our children.