I’m coming out of a particularly challenging period in my life. For the last six months, I’ve battled the shadows of depression, but I’m finally emerging from that storm and stepping back into the light. This transition is a positive one, and I’m grateful for it.
However, during this tough time, I also gained around 30 pounds. I didn’t realize it had accumulated to that extent until I recently checked the scale. I was aware that my jeans felt tighter, but I never connected that feeling to such a substantial weight increase.
While it’s disheartening to see that number rise, it’s a common occurrence when grappling with mental health challenges. Physical health matters, but it’s crucial to prioritize mental well-being first. During my struggle with anxiety and depression, maintaining a healthy diet and exercise routine had to take a backseat. Although it was an unfortunate trade-off for my physical health, it was necessary. I’d rather carry a few extra pounds than lose my zest for life entirely.
The silver lining is that I’m now in a place where I can focus on my physical health again. Having engaged in yo-yo dieting for years, I know the strategies to shed the weight, even if the process is slower now than it was a decade ago. I’m equipped with the knowledge of what to eat, what to avoid, and how to incorporate movement into my routine. I am determined to return to my pre-depression weight eventually.
That said, the exact timeline for this journey is uncertain. It could take months or even years to get back to where I was six months ago. While I navigate this path to better health, there’s a crucial lesson I must embrace: learning to accept and love my body as it is right now, with all its imperfections.
This has not been an easy task for me. I’ve had moments in my life where I felt good about my body, typically when I was at a healthier weight and actively taking care of myself. Those were the times when appreciating my body came naturally. My clothes fit well, I felt energetic, and my self-image was positive.
Now, I’m entering a new chapter where I’ll learn to love my body, even when it’s not at its best. Even though my belly has expanded and the scale shows higher numbers, this does not define who I am as a person or as a mother.
My arms may have more softness to them, yet they remain strong enough to lift my child when he needs comfort. My thighs may touch more now, but they still provide a cozy spot for my daughter to sit as I play with her. My belly may be squishier, but it’s still a safe space for my kids to snuggle after a long day.
I refuse to let my body dictate my happiness or self-worth. I will not obsess over every inch when I step out of the shower or frown at my reflection in the mirror. Instead, I choose to see my body as a work in progress—imperfect, yet uniquely mine.
My physical health is important, but it’s just one aspect of who I am. Just as I’ve learned to accept my other flaws—like my short temper or insomnia—I will also learn to embrace my body, no matter its shape or size.
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In conclusion, embracing our bodies, regardless of their shape or size, is essential for our overall well-being. It’s about nurturing both our mental and physical health and recognizing that our worth extends far beyond the numbers on a scale.