Every woman deserves the autonomy to decide whether or not to devote her life and body to another person. Whether it’s a 35-year-old married woman who opts not to have children, a 15-year-old lacking access to contraception, or a 23-year-old unwilling to be bound to a casual relationship, each should have the right to choose what happens to their bodies, regardless of their situation.
This belief has been ingrained in me since I first engaged in discussions about reproductive rights. When I shared my pro-choice stance, the most common responses I encountered were phrases like “You’ll feel differently once you have kids” or “You’re still young.” Naturally, being a more reserved person, I refrained from further defending my views on women’s rights.
When I discovered I was pregnant, the embryo inside me was no bigger than a poppy seed. It would take weeks before it transitioned to a “fetus.” Had I chosen not to let this pregnancy dictate my life, I would have faced numerous political hurdles to assert my decision. Yes, those cells are alive! But so are the cells on my skin, and nobody questions my choice to exfoliate them.
Now, as a mother to a much-loved child, I can confidently say that I feel differently—I have even more reasons to advocate for pro-choice rights. For one, I didn’t instantly fall in love with my baby upon seeing that second line on the pregnancy test. My husband and I had spent considerable time gathering information prior to conceiving. We read extensively, consulted with medical professionals, and listened to the wisdom of experienced parents. The cliché that one automatically becomes a parent upon learning of a pregnancy didn’t hold true for me.
I cherished the idea of expanding our family and the adventure ahead of us. There was no doubt we would continue with the pregnancy, but the tangible connection was absent at first, overshadowed by nausea and exhaustion—two of the many sacrifices I faced to welcome my future child.
These challenges led me to a stark realization: I wouldn’t endure this if I didn’t truly want a baby. My career, friendships, health, finances, and overall happiness were all impacted. To cope, I would remind myself of the positives: my baby was planned and healthy, I had a loving partner, and there were no major complications. But this exercise only highlighted that without those positives, I would have likely considered my options more seriously.
Being pro-choice forced me to confront the fragility of pregnancy, especially in its early stages. My husband and I were eager to share our news when I was just six weeks along, instead of waiting until the risk of miscarriage decreased around 12 weeks. While many were thrilled, some expressed caution, urging us to hold back our celebrations until later.
I recognize that my social circle largely reflects similar pro-choice beliefs. Additionally, I became pregnant during a time when organizations like Planned Parenthood were under scrutiny, making discussions about the definition of humanity more heated. It was eye-opening to realize that while some might condemn a woman for choosing an abortion, others would tell her to temper her excitement if she did decide to continue her pregnancy.
When I thought I might be having a miscarriage at eight weeks, I mourned what could have been. I faced the challenge of navigating my grief, knowing that as a pro-choice woman with a planned pregnancy, I was entitled to grieve the potential loss of my embryo, even as others might view it as merely a medical condition. Thankfully, I ultimately welcomed a healthy baby seven months later, so this remained a hypothetical scenario for me.
Embracing a pro-choice stance doesn’t equate to supporting abortion; rather, it emphasizes that women should have the right to decide whether to continue a pregnancy without facing judgment. It also means that those who choose to carry a pregnancy to term should be free to celebrate or grieve their choices, irrespective of the legal boundaries surrounding abortion and the risks of early miscarriage.
Now, as I cherish my five-month-old son, my pro-choice beliefs remain steadfast. The laughter and joy he brings do not lead me to reconsider the notion that conception equates to personhood. I am grateful for the choice I had in expanding my family, making it a blessing for my husband, our son, and me.
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In summary, my pregnancy journey has fortified my pro-choice beliefs, shining a light on the importance of autonomy in reproductive health. Every woman’s circumstance is unique, and the right to choose should always be respected.