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By Dr. Emily Carter
Updated: August 17, 2023
Originally Published: August 17, 2023
Why do mothers need friends? After all, they have children and, in many cases, partners. Society often places moms on a pedestal, which can lead to misunderstandings about their experiences. While it may seem like everything revolves around the kids, moms are human too. They have emotions, needs, and occasionally, they crave friendship. Are you ready to be that friend? Here are some thoughtful ways to support the mothers in your life:
Reach Out to Your Mom Friends
When a baby arrives, life often shifts focus entirely to the child. It’s easy to forget that moms deserve to be asked, “How are you doing?” Instead of discussing the kids, give your friend a call or send a message inviting her out for a glass of wine or to see a movie. Remind her that she’s a person beyond her role as a mother.
Offer Specific Help
Many moms struggle to ask for help, even when they desperately need it. It took me some time to recognize that I couldn’t manage everything alone. If you offer assistance, be explicit about what you can do. For example, if you’re willing to babysit, let her know that so she doesn’t have to wonder if it’s appropriate to ask. This clarity can alleviate some of her stress.
Wait for Her to Ask for Advice
In numerous instances, I’ve been tempted to offer advice on parenting challenges. However, I’ve learned to hold back. Often, I discover more context that would have made my advice less applicable or even detrimental. Trust that most moms know their child’s needs and will ask for help when they require it.
Reassure Her that She’s Doing Well
With the rise of social media, it’s easier than ever to affirm a mom friend’s efforts. If she shares a milestone or achievement of her child, remind her how great she is for nurturing such a wonderful individual. If a playdate goes particularly well, acknowledge her parenting skills and thank her for raising such courteous children. Kids don’t become exceptional on their own; they are a reflection of their upbringing.
Compliment Her Parenting Skills in Real-Time
I vividly remember my first outing with my newborn, Lily, to the grocery store. She started crying, and in my moment of panic, another mom reassured me, “You’re doing fine.” That simple compliment made all the difference. Whether it’s a toddler’s tantrum or a teenager’s moodiness, find moments to compliment how she handles the situation. Recognizing her efforts can provide the boost she needs.
Avoid Judging Her Choices
Moms are often their own harshest critics. Instead of passing judgment on a decision you might not fully understand, offer support. Send positive vibes her way, or simply ask how you can help.
Show Compassion
Becoming a mom can be incredibly exhausting. Many mothers juggle work and childcare, making it difficult to maintain social connections. If she can’t talk when you call or declines an invitation, show her understanding. Recognizing her limitations fosters a supportive friendship.
For more insights on motherhood and support systems, check out our other blog posts, such as this one on intracervical insemination. If you’re looking for authoritative information on the journey of parenthood, visit Make A Mom. Additionally, UCSF’s Center offers excellent resources for pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Supporting the moms in your life is vital for their well-being. By reaching out, offering specific help, and providing encouragement, you can foster meaningful friendships. Remember, moms need affirmation, understanding, and compassion amidst their busy lives.