Let’s be clear: I have zero desire to relive my early twenties. No way am I trading in my current life for the chaos of being 21 again—filled with immature decisions, low self-esteem, a pile of unpaid bills, a series of awful relationships, and those dreadful hangovers. The anxiety of never finding “the one,” never writing professionally, and perpetually missing rent deadlines was more than enough.
However, I must admit that I sometimes feel nostalgic. While my life has turned out fairly well—more than just okay, in fact—I can’t shake the feeling that perhaps the best years are behind me. After all, I did have some wild times, didn’t I?
These days, everything seems settled: a respectable career, a wonderful partner, two amazing kids, a lovely home with a sleek kitchen, and a slightly neurotic dog. But there are persistent thoughts gnawing at me:
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The thought of my upcoming high school reunion makes my stomach churn. Thirty years? Seriously? It’s not just the parade of familiar faces from my past that troubles me; it’s the haunting realization of how long ago I knew them. The fact that bands I adored are now considered “retro,” and that fashion trends from my youth have made comebacks makes me cringe. Thank goodness I graduated before the internet made everything permanent!
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I recently joined Twitter after being “strongly encouraged” by an editor. It seems everyone now craves an audience to manage. Why are we chasing after strangers for validation? At least Facebook connects us with “friends” to share memories. Twitter feels like a relentless quest for followers and fame, where one can easily be trolled by the masses. It’s all a bit overwhelming and makes me feel ancient. #IHateTwitter
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I find myself watching shows like Girls with a mix of envy and disgust. Am I the only one in my forties feeling this way? Sure, the characters can be grating, but I can’t help but envy their carefree youth and adventurous spirits. They remind me of my own early years in New York City, even if I never had the fabulous hair like Jessa.
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I’ve developed a secret fondness for John Green’s novels. It’s quite the situation when my sharp-witted daughter, who devours advanced books, battles me for the same dog-eared copy of The Fault in Our Stars. I’m the one left in tears at the end while she casually dismisses it as not that sad. Talk about feeling like I should grow up!
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I hide candy like Bazooka and Blow Pops in my kitchen. Joking with my husband—a huge fan of old shows—I admit to pulling a “Ginny Sack,” stashing sweets away much like I did as a kid. Even though I maintain a healthy lifestyle, I indulge in these sugary treats just like I did at 7 or 27. Candy? I can’t quit you, even as an adult.
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I regret not realizing the power I had in my twenties. Only now do I see how much influence I could have wielded as a younger woman. The media world is predominantly ruled by youth, and those who stick around into middle age often find themselves intimidated by fresh talent. Why did I spend so much time feeling insecure?
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And then there’s the snoring. Recently, my husband has begun waking me up multiple times a night due to my new freight train-like snores. I thought I’d escaped this family curse, but apparently, my dedication to fitness hasn’t saved me. It’s all downhill from here!
In conclusion, while adulting comes with its share of uncomfortable realities, it’s also a journey filled with growth and reflection. For more insights on navigating this complex adult life, check out our other blog post here. And if you’re looking for resources on home insemination, visit Make a Mom for reliable at-home kits or Facts About Fertility for helpful information.
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