Navigating the world of parenting can feel overwhelming, especially with endless advice and opinions flooding in from all directions. Each decision—from choosing between breast milk or formula to deciding on extracurricular activities—comes with its own mountain of information. Parents often find themselves adopting specific identities, like Attachment Parent or Free-Range Parent. But let’s be honest: these labels can become a bit tiresome. Here are seven parenting styles I’ve decided to abandon since my family expanded.
1. Adorable Bento Box Parenting
With my first child, I felt compelled to curate the cutest lunches imaginable, complete with whimsical snack containers shaped like animals and chic picnic blankets. Now that I have a second child, I often find myself sending my older one off to school with lunch packed in a crumpled yogurt container and an old mint tin. The charm of those meticulously arranged meals has faded.
2. Stylish Wardrobe Parenting
Before kids, I prided myself on finding the perfect jeans and trendy outfits. After the first child, I still managed to keep it together. But with two kids? I’m on the verge of embracing the sweatpants lifestyle. As my friend Beth says, “Don’t let go of your personal style,” so I’ve settled for a compromise of comfy black pants and tops that drape loosely. Apparently, the transition from chic to practical leads straight to Yoga Pants.
3. Biology Class Frog Parenting
Remember how you could make a dead frog twitch with just the right poke? That’s how I feel when my son wails in the middle of the night. Instead of jumping out of bed immediately, I now wait a moment, allowing him a chance to settle back down. Most of the time, his cries are just a fleeting thought—like a warning shot that quickly fades.
4. Negotiator Parenting
In my early parenting days, I would crouch down to my child’s level and attempt to reason with him: “Hey, buddy, it’s time to head home because dinner is coming up, okay?” My preverbal son, however, didn’t quite grasp my diplomatic approach and would often protest loudly. Now, I simply state, “We’re leaving,” and we go—screaming or not. At least I no longer feel like I’m trying to broker a peace treaty.
5. Evening Cocktail Parenting
With my first child, a relaxing cocktail at 5 PM while prepping dinner felt like a necessity. However, with the arrival of my second child, I need to stay sharp. Otherwise, I risk being overwhelmed by my two energetic children. Now, I save my drinks for after bedtime, when I can truly unwind.
6. Intense Eye Contact Parenting
Initially, I was dedicated to attachment parenting and ensuring I met my baby’s gaze at every opportunity. I closely monitored each tiny movement. But as time passes, I’ve realized that children can grow and thrive even without that level of intense interaction. Now, I’m often surprised when my second child appears in the kitchen, as if I’ve just discovered a new character in my life.
7. Obsessive Cleaning Parenting
Why is there always something sticky or grimy underfoot? This remains one of the great mysteries of parenthood. I used to scrub every inch of the house daily with rubber gloves, but now, I just give the floor a quick once-over with a Clorox wipe and call it a day.
In summary, as I embrace the chaos that comes with raising two kids, I’ve found that letting go of certain parenting ideals has offered me more freedom and less stress. If you’re in the same boat, know you’re not alone. For additional parenting insights, check out this other blog post about effective parenting styles.
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