Parting ways can be a challenging experience. Some farewells are heart-wrenching, like losing a loved one or watching a child grow up and leave behind their innocent habits. Yet, there are other goodbyes that sneak up on us. They occur so subtly that you may not realize you’re bidding farewell until one day you wake up, think of a friend, and realize it has been months, or even years, since you last connected.
These are the quiet goodbyes I find myself facing now.
Perhaps it’s just the phase of life I’m in—juggling work, kids’ activities, school events, and family time, all while trying to carve out moments for self-care. Our schedules are overflowing, and our minds are even more cluttered, leading us to feel more like we’re being pulled along by life than choosing how to spend our time. I suspect this is just a part of this busy stage of motherhood.
I often find myself drifting away from my female friendships without a single word. What once were nights out have become sporadic lunches squeezed between obligations and the chaos of parenting. Those lunches have dwindled to texts that suggest all the things we want to do together—movies, girls’ nights, spa days—until they eventually transform into mere “Hey, thinking of you!” messages. Now, even those texts have become infrequent. I know my friends think of me; however, reaching out feels like just another task on an endless to-do list—one that often gets postponed. I’m guilty of the same.
I won’t pretend that I’m fully at peace with this. While I understand the demands of life, I still feel a sense of loss. I grieve for the friendships that have faded, connections that once served as my lifelines to a world beyond parenting—the world where I could unwind with those who understood me best. I miss the warmth of companionship, the shared laughter over dessert, and the comforting hugs that reminded me I wasn’t alone in my struggles. I miss the camaraderie that allowed us to celebrate our small victories and lament the swift passage of time as our children grow.
Yet, I realize this cycle is common among many of us, and I’m not filled with anger or resentment—just melancholy. I understand that the love remains, even if our time together has diminished. I hold onto the hope that life will eventually slow down, allowing us to reconnect over nachos and chocolate cake. When that day comes, I’ll be ready, my heart overflowing with affection and my appetite poised for indulgent treats.
Until then, I’ll reach out with a text to let them know they’re on my mind.
Tomorrow. I promise to do it tomorrow.
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In summary, the subtle goodbyes in friendships can be heart-wrenching for mothers as they navigate the complexities of life. While it’s easy to lose touch amid the chaos, the bonds of friendship remain, waiting for the opportunity to flourish again.