After welcoming my third child into the world, I noticed that my eldest son, Noah, began to take a keen interest in my body’s transformation. His innocent remarks about my postpartum figure were striking. “Mom, your tummy looks like a soft pancake!” he exclaimed one evening, and on another occasion, he said, “Your arms are so squishy! How do I compare?” As he squished his own arm, he looked at me with curiosity, adding, “I think yours is the squishiest!”
His affectionate observations made me realize how crucial my responses are. The way I choose to react can significantly influence his perception of women’s bodies—and his own body image as he grows. If I were to respond with hurt or defensiveness, saying something like, “That’s not nice! Don’t say that!” I would be unintentionally teaching him that there’s something wrong with how bodies can look and feel.
Alternatively, if I were to dismiss his comments by saying, “You shouldn’t talk about that,” I would be sending a message that there’s shame surrounding our bodies. This could stifle the open dialogue that is so vital between a parent and child. Similarly, if I were to say, “I know it looks that way, but I’ll exercise to change it,” I would imply that a larger body is undesirable.
What I choose to tell Noah instead is empowering. I explain how my body utilized nourishment to create and sustain life during pregnancy and that it still holds onto some of that energy for breastfeeding. I share how my body takes time to recover and return to its pre-pregnancy state, emphasizing that the changes are a natural part of motherhood. I also discuss the importance of exercise for maintaining health and strength, and how I choose foods that nourish my body and provide energy.
I aim to present my body in a positive light, wearing clothes that make me feel confident. Through these discussions, I hope to instill a healthy understanding of body image in Noah, fostering a future generation that embraces and respects all body types.
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In conclusion, while my conversations with Noah may not change the world, I believe they can contribute to a more positive outlook on body image for him and perhaps others he influences in the future.