It was the evening of the school’s open house, a time that fills educators with both anxiety and excitement. The classroom slowly came alive with the bright faces of new preschoolers and their families. A young boy approached with his mother, beaming as she introduced him. “This is Lucas.”
“Great to meet you, Lucas. And who do we have here?” I asked, glancing at his mother.
He raised his brows and replied, “Just my mom.”
That phrase lingered with me long after I tucked my own child into bed: “Just my mom.”
As the school year unfolded, I grew fond of Lucas and his classmates. Most of them were fortunate enough to have dedicated mothers who were actively engaged in school events. When Mother’s Day approached, I felt compelled to create something truly special for these wonderful women. I discovered a charming “About My Mom” questionnaire and sat with each child to fill it out.
Questionnaire Insights
“What’s your mom’s name?”
“I don’t know.”
“Then what does your dad call her?”
“I don’t know.”
“Where does your mom work?”
“She doesn’t.”
“What does your mom do while you’re at school?”
“Cleans my room,” one child replied. “Buys me toys,” chimed in another. “She waits for me.”
“Waits for you?” I probed.
“She drops me off then waits for me to finish school and takes me home.”
“Does she do that the whole time?” I asked, intrigued.
“Yes,” she affirmed.
Another child simply stated, “I don’t know what she does.”
“Well, I’m certain she does many things. Right now, while you’re talking to me, what do you think your mom might be up to?”
“I don’t know.”
“What does she enjoy doing for fun?” I pressed, feeling a wave of urgency.
“I don’t know what she likes.”
Countless conversations like this unfolded throughout the year. Out of my entire class, only a handful could respond in a way that recognized their mothers as whole individuals with their own desires and feelings.
The Role of a Mother
At home, I embody the role of a mother. In the classroom, I find myself caring for 17 young hearts. Often, I feel like just a pair of hands. “Can you open this?” “Will you tie my shoe?” “Can I have more water?” I strive to assert my individuality beyond the title of “teacher.” During sharing time, I relish the opportunity to share snippets of my life, enjoying the surprise on the children’s faces when they learn that I don’t actually reside at school.
It’s common knowledge that children are inherently self-centered. Every educator learns about Jean Piaget’s stages of cognitive development. Kids are growing and evolving, and it’s not fair to judge them. Yet, as I listened to their responses, I couldn’t help but feel the weight of a mother’s struggle. We often feel unappreciated, and much of our labor goes unnoticed. Our children might perceive us as existing solely to cater to their needs, a sentiment they may not communicate directly but one that is evident in their behavior.
A mother’s presence can become so constant that it’s easily overlooked, fading into the background. What we do and who we are can often be invisible to our children. Motherhood is a demanding role, often unacknowledged. Yet, we prioritize our children’s emotional well-being over our own, setting our own identities aside.
The Importance of Recognition
Love involves sacrifice. Your children care for you. They need to truly see and understand you. You deserve recognition. So, make an effort to share your story with them, even if it feels like they might not be interested. You hold significance. You may feel overlooked, but I recognize you.
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In summary, motherhood can often feel like a thankless job, where the sacrifices made go unnoticed. Yet, it’s crucial for mothers to share their identities, ensuring that their children see them as whole individuals deserving of recognition.