As a parent of nearly 15 years, I’ve gained valuable insights into the distinct characteristics of boys and girls—at least as they manifest in my household. While I often struggle to locate the simplest items, like the mayonnaise in the fridge, my partner has his own quirks. Despite our differences, we strive to create a balanced home where our children can flourish.
Our family includes a son, Jake, and a daughter, Lily. Both are observant, absorbing our parenting styles, and hopefully, overlooking our missteps. We aim to provide them with guidance, recognizing that certain lessons may differ based on their experiences as a boy and a girl.
Lessons for Jake:
- Understand the importance of respect, especially regarding shared spaces, like toilet seats.
- Embrace his true self, regardless of societal expectations.
- Consider his audience before sharing inappropriate jokes (this one is a work in progress).
- Learn basic life skills, like doing laundry and folding clothes.
- Remember to enjoy dessert, even if a partner claims they’re not interested.
- Avoid the trap of needing to have the last word in discussions.
- Develop the ability to locate items, regardless of their immediate visibility.
- Recognize the necessity of consent before touching anyone’s body.
- Strive to uplift others and make them feel valued.
- Practice engaging with strangers in conversation, especially on the phone.
- Show courtesy by holding doors open for everyone.
- Give compliments to his partner, particularly about their appearance.
- Seek beauty in people, even when it’s not readily apparent.
- Cultivate generosity in friendships and relationships.
- Experience love deeply, even when it feels overwhelming.
Lessons for Lily:
- Master the art of self-defense, including a well-placed kick if necessary.
- Know how to change a flat tire—a practical skill for independence.
- Navigate the nuances of asking someone out on a date.
- Maintain friendships through kindness and communication.
- Recognize her own beauty, especially in challenging moments.
- Offer compliments to her partner, focusing on their physical attributes.
- Appreciate the joys of solitude, whether traveling, dining, or enjoying a movie.
- Never apologize for existing as a woman.
- Prioritize listening over talking (this one is also a work in progress).
- Trust her instincts in various situations.
- Ensure her boundaries are respected when it comes to her body.
- Understand that maintaining a healthy lifestyle can be simpler than perpetual dieting.
- Embrace her authentic self, regardless of external pressures.
- Experience love fully, even when it’s difficult to recover from heartbreak.
While our intention is to impart these lessons to both children, I recognize that some realities are harsher than they should be. For instance, I wish I could assure Lily that she can walk home at night without fear. Similarly, it’s disheartening to teach Jake the necessity of asking for consent, a lesson that should be inherent. Nevertheless, we will continue to guide them, hoping that society evolves alongside their understanding.
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In summary, as parents, our role is to equip our children with essential life skills while nurturing their individuality and self-worth. We strive to balance the lessons that reflect their unique experiences and the broader societal issues they will face.