I embrace the title of “strict mom,” and I take pride in it. My children often call me this, and after years of introspection, patience, and a lot of hard work (mostly on my part), I’ve become comfortable in my role as a parent. When I began this wild journey of motherhood, I was clueless, but I knew a few key things: I was going to establish rules, and I aimed to raise self-sufficient kids rather than entitled individuals who can’t take care of themselves. And of course, sleep was a non-negotiable in our household. I didn’t enjoy all-nighters in college, so I certainly wasn’t going to endure them with tiny humans.
I quickly learned that children don’t inherently know right from wrong or how to keep their environment tidy. At first, my expectations were modest. I wanted my toddler to pitch in and help put his toys away at the end of the day. Some days, he only managed to toss a single toy into the box while I cleaned up the rest of the chaos. However, through consistent involvement and setting a good example, he gradually learned the importance of cleaning up his Lego disasters. The same applied when my daughter arrived a few years later.
Establishing Rules and Routines
Instilling rules in our home extended beyond simple chores. Our household has a strict sleep schedule—naps and bedtimes are not up for discussion. Anyone who’s dealt with a toddler knows that explaining why they need sleep so that I can enjoy my evening of wine and streaming shows often goes unheard. Teaching kids how to sleep is essential, and I knew I needed to equip them with the right tools. Regular bedtimes, clear boundaries about getting out of bed, and even enduring their protests helped nurture children who sleep soundly through the night. They learned early on that I wouldn’t always be there to protect them from their imaginary fears.
Preparing for Adulthood
Now that my kids are entering their teenage years, it’s time for them to take on more responsibilities. They’re ready to learn vital life skills that will serve them well in college and beyond. Just like I taught them to clean their play area, I now focus on preparing them for adulthood. I’ve started to step back and let them take charge of certain tasks, allowing them to learn through experience.
For instance, my son recently expressed interest in choosing what goes into his lunchbox. I seized the opportunity to teach him. I filled the fridge with healthy options, set some guidelines, and then let him go to work while I enjoyed my coffee. In no time, he was making lunches for his sister too, making our mornings much smoother. Now, I can actually savor my coffee before the bus arrives.
Encouraging Independence
My friends are often surprised to discover that I don’t micromanage my kids’ homework or track their project deadlines. Of course, I assist with challenging assignments and ensure they have the necessary supplies, but the responsibility for due dates rests on their shoulders. Helicopter parenting can hinder their ability to learn time management and understand the consequences of late submissions.
Recently, my son submitted an assignment late, which impacted both his grade and his eligibility for the honor society. It was a tough lesson for both of us, but I didn’t intervene. He faced his consequences, and we both learned from the experience—it’s a lesson that will stick with him for life.
High Expectations and Life Skills
I maintain high expectations for my children and require them to contribute to our household. I also ensure they have the knowledge and tools necessary to succeed. With only a few years left before they venture into the world, I’m glad to see them taking initiative at home. And trust me, their newfound toilet-cleaning skills will make them popular roommates in college.
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In summary, I firmly believe that being tough on my kids helps shape them into responsible, independent adults. By teaching them essential life skills and allowing them to learn from their mistakes, I’m preparing them for the realities of life beyond our home.