In the journey of parenthood, there comes a pivotal moment when children pose the infamous question: “Can we get a dog?” This question can send shivers down a parent’s spine, as it signifies a substantial commitment and responsibility. One dad, who goes by the username rjohnstone13, tackled this situation with a humorous twist by drafting a “family dog contract” that has since gone viral on Reddit.
The contract outlines a series of amusing yet practical stipulations that his children must agree to before welcoming a furry friend into their home. It starts with the crucial clause: “Dad will never, under any circumstances, pick up dog poop. The kids are responsible for cleaning up after the dog three times a week to Dad’s satisfaction.”
Detailed specifications follow, such as the dog’s size, grooming habits, and where it can relieve itself. The dad humorously insists that the dog must weigh less than 15 pounds, be completely non-shedding (good luck with that!), and its bathroom breaks must occur in a designated area of the yard — specifically, the side yard by Barbara’s fence (sorry, Barb!). Furthermore, the dad declares that the dog should not drool or have a runny nose, stating, “All parties agree that those kinds of dogs are gross.”
Additional amusing rules include mandates that the dog must not scratch the floors—regardless of the method employed to achieve this—and if the dog makes a mess indoors, cleaning solutions may include chemical treatments if natural alternatives fail. The dad also reserves the right to veto the dog’s name and insists that the dog should never be considered a child or sibling, maintaining, “All parties agree that the dog is a dog.”
One of the most important clauses states that the kids must promise never to lose interest in the dog, emphasizing that the pet is their responsibility for its entire life. The post received a mix of laughter and some criticism, with a few commenters suggesting he might end up loving the dog more than he expects. However, this contract serves as a lighthearted yet realistic approach to preparing his children for the responsibilities of dog ownership.
In a follow-up comment, rjohnstone13 revealed that his family did end up adopting a dog shortly after the contract was signed. They welcomed a three-year-old, non-shedding, house-trained fluffy mutt weighing 15 pounds, whom they named Kershaw (veto power not exercised). The dad shared that everyone in the family, including him, adores their new pet, which has become a wonderful addition to their household.
This entertaining “family dog contract” not only brings laughter but also highlights the importance of preparing kids for the long-term commitment that comes with pet ownership. For more engaging content about home insemination and parenting, check out our post on home insemination kits or visit Make a Mom for expert advice on this topic. If you’re interested in fertility and pregnancy resources, I recommend checking out this podcast by Cleveland Clinic.
In summary, this dad’s inventive approach to a common parenting dilemma offers a blend of humor and practical responsibilities, ensuring that his kids are well-prepared for the joys and challenges of dog ownership.