When embarking on a journey to know someone potentially significant in your life, you often engage in various activities together—coffee dates, dinners, movies, and other experiences that help you understand each other’s personalities. Initially, this dating phase is all about discovery; as you grow closer, it becomes an opportunity to create lasting memories and deepen your connection.
In a similar vein, my partner, Jake, and I have embraced the idea of “dating” our children, albeit in a completely non-romantic context. We both work from home, which allows us to spend ample time with our kids. However, we soon recognized that despite our family’s togetherness, we were missing out on meaningful one-on-one time with each child. We wanted to explore their individuality beyond the family dynamic and routine.
To remedy this, we established a monthly “date” with each child. Here’s how we approach it:
We Alternate Months
I take the lead in planning dates for each child in one month, while Jake covers the next. We initially tried to schedule dates for both of us each month, but that quickly became overwhelming. Our lives are busy, filled with various commitments, and we found it challenging to fit in those special moments. Alternating months has provided a workable solution.
We Keep It Affordable
By affordable, I mean low-cost. Our outings usually consist of trips to the ice cream shop or our local café. Sometimes, my eldest, Emma, prefers to browse craft stores like Michael’s or JoAnn’s for supplies. We’ve also explored thrift stores and coffee shops, and occasionally, if our budget allows, we’ll enjoy dinner out. I try to keep these dates under $10 to align with our family budget.
We Prioritize Conversation
While our kids have suggested movies for our outings, we prefer activities that facilitate conversation. The essence of these dates is to connect more deeply, allowing our kids to ask questions or open up in ways they might hesitate to do in front of their siblings.
We Avoid the Pressure of Perfection
Even though our one-on-one time is significant, we don’t expect every date to be extraordinary. Some outings are delightful bonding experiences, while others may feel a bit lackluster. The key is the effort itself—our kids look forward to these moments and cherish the time spent with us, even if it’s just sharing ice cream.
We Share Our Enthusiasm
During our outings, my children often express themselves in ways that they might not typically do at home. Jake has experienced similar conversations during his dates with them. These intimate exchanges are invaluable, allowing us to see each child as an individual. While we can connect at home, stepping away from our daily routine makes these moments even more special. This dedicated time nurtures our bond and lays the foundation for trust and cooperation within the family.
It might sound unusual to say we “date” our children, but that’s precisely what we do. We create dedicated time away from our daily activities and the rest of the family, focusing on getting to know each other better. The experience is enriching: we share stories, laugh, and grow closer, which is perhaps the most rewarding outcome one can hope for from any date.
For more insights on parenting and family bonding, check out our other blog posts, such as this one. Additionally, if you’re interested in the intersection of parenting and reproductive health, Make a Mom offers valuable advice on home insemination kits. For further information on fertility and related topics, the CDC provides excellent resources.
In summary, the time we invest in one-on-one outings with our kids fosters a deeper, more meaningful connection, which is essential for a harmonious family life.