While indulging in reruns of NCIS, I was struck by a powerful moment when Abby told Gibbs, “Good women know it’s OK to share the throne.” This profound statement made me pause and reflect. It suggested that women could celebrate each other’s achievements rather than view them as competition. This was a refreshing perspective, particularly in a cultural landscape often dominated by snarkiness and rivalry among women.
My thoughts wandered back to a memorable encounter I had with the ex-girlfriend of a guy I dated, named Mia. Mia was a remarkable woman—she had striking dark hair and captivating green eyes, and she was both a scientist and a passionate art enthusiast. I, too, had my accomplishments; I worked at a shelter for victims of domestic abuse and had a strong educational background. Despite the awkwardness of our situation, we both navigated our shared circumstances with mutual respect.
During one of our conversations, Mia shared the exciting news that one of her students had received a prestigious fellowship in Italy, allowing her to study abroad for a year. Without thinking, I confessed my envy. In an instant, Mia raised her wine glass high and declared, “No! We should celebrate her success. When one of us succeeds, we all do.”
It was a powerful lesson in feminism I had never encountered so candidly before. While I meant no harm to the young student, Mia’s passionate response resonated deeply: every woman’s success paves the way for others. When we undermine or criticize one another, we weaken the supportive network we all depend on.
Often, society raises us to compete—for partners, careers, the ideal body image, parenting, and even the “right” lifestyle choices. In the midst of this competition, we tend to judge one another for our choices—whether to marry, remain single, have children, or choose not to. Amidst this negativity, we often overlook the simple truth: we are all striving for happiness in our own lives. Each decision we make can bring about challenges and frustrations, no matter how confident we felt in making them. Imagine how much easier life could be if we felt supported by the women around us instead of critiqued.
As I welcomed my fourth great-niece into the world today, I hope for her sake—and for all girls growing up in today’s society—that we can foster a more supportive and nurturing culture among women. It’s vital that we turn away from media that glorifies hostility and instead create uplifting narratives for future generations. As aunts, mothers, sisters, and friends, we should model the kind of behavior they deserve to witness and emulate. When we uplift each other, we all thrive.
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In summary, we must strive to celebrate one another’s successes and cultivate a supportive environment. By doing so, we create a stronger, more unified community of women who can rise together.
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