“Mommy, why don’t you wear makeup?” my daughter asked me today. I wasn’t caught off guard; lately, my daily accomplishments have been simple—just managing to take a shower and change out of my workout attire feels like a victory.
I’ve never been one for heavy makeup. In fact, the limited makeup I do own is stashed in an old Caboodles case my mother gifted me during my teenage years, and let’s just say the eyeshadows have seen better days.
As I observed my daughter studying my face, I couldn’t help but wonder what thoughts were swirling in her mind. Perhaps I looked different than I had a few weeks ago. I’ve certainly earned every wrinkle and the telltale bags under my eyes that have appeared since becoming a parent nearly nine years ago.
With three young daughters who mirror my every move, I want them to be able to look in the mirror without criticizing themselves or fixating on perceived flaws. It’s often within our imperfections that our true beauty resides.
I want my daughters to take pride in their appearance and maintain healthy skin, but I also want them to avoid the trap of comparison, feeling pressured to conform to an ideal based on someone they admire. My hope is for them to develop into strong, independent, confident women who appreciate the natural beauty they possess—a beauty that no makeup can enhance.
Equally, I want my son to recognize the inherent beauty in women, which often lies beyond the layers of makeup that can mask their true selves. I want my children to grasp that beauty can manifest in numerous forms.
What Does Beauty Mean?
Beauty can be a smiling woman. It’s about being healthy. It’s confidence, strength, energy, and inspiration. Beauty is resilience, how a woman carries herself, and how she rises above trivial matters. It’s about the hard work that goes into achieving something worthwhile.
True beauty also encompasses how a woman nurtures not just her family, but herself—emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
My children won’t remember the days I skipped makeup or the moments I was just in comfy clothes with my hair in a messy bun. They won’t recall how aging affected me, nor will they dwell on my growing wrinkles. I hope they will remember, however, that their mother embraced aging with grace, dignity, and a touch of humor, without taking herself too seriously. I want them to look back fondly on our kitchen dance parties, which were some of our best memories, even when I was dressed down and makeup-free.
“So, Mommy, why don’t you wear makeup?” she asked again. Smiling, I kissed her on the nose and replied, “I just didn’t think it was necessary today. What do you think?”
Her response warmed my heart: “Nope. I think you look pretty just the way you are.”
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In summary, I want my daughters to understand that true beauty transcends appearances and is deeply rooted in self-acceptance and confidence.