As a medical professional, I often emphasize the importance of preparing for parenthood. Conventional wisdom suggests that potential parents should evaluate whether they are emotionally ready, financially secure, and have a reliable support network. While these considerations are undoubtedly crucial, there’s a less conventional but equally important question that prospective parents often overlook:
Are you adept at multitasking while in the bathroom?
It’s easy to sit on the throne scrolling through your phone or reading a book, but parenting demands a level of multitasking that often takes place in the least private of settings. Children have little to no understanding of privacy, and even as they grow, they seem to believe that privacy doesn’t apply to their parents. Once kids learn to reach under the bathroom door or twist the doorknob, solitary moments in the restroom become a rare commodity.
There’s an unspoken rule among children that any issues that arise while a parent is attending to nature are emergencies that require immediate attention. Want some juice? Can’t find your favorite toy? Need help with a scratch? These concerns will come rushing in, all while you’re trying to handle your own business. Ironically, significant issues—like the toddler attempting to eat your lip balm—often go unnoticed until your moment of solitude is over.
This scenario highlights a vital parenting lesson: if you want to avoid perpetually yelling, “Can you please wait a moment?” you’ll need to learn how to manage life’s responsibilities from the comfort of your porcelain seat. Often, this may be your only opportunity for a moment of peace, so you might as well make the most of it.
Tasks Parents Might Juggle While in the Bathroom
For those curious about the various tasks parents might juggle while in the bathroom, consider this brief list (your experience may vary):
- Opening snack packages like yogurt tubes or fruit snacks
- Mediation of sibling disputes
- Feeding and burping a baby
- Holding a baby to prevent crying
- Repairing broken toys
- Assisting with getting dressed (buttoning pants, zipping zippers, etc.)
- Dealing with splinters and inspecting minor injuries
- Singing songs to entertain
- Counting or spelling as a learning activity
- Answering homework questions
- Creating imaginative play-dough aliens
Additionally, because children have an uncanny ability to make parents run behind schedule, you can also expect to be consuming your breakfast and brushing/flossing your teeth while addressing their needs.
So, if you or someone you know is contemplating starting a family, here’s my recommendation: spend a few minutes in the bathroom while attempting to accomplish various tasks. If you can manage it, you might be ready to toss that birth control. However, if your idea of multitasking is merely talking on the phone while walking or sipping coffee without spilling it, you might want to rethink things.
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In summary, the journey to parenthood is multifaceted and requires more than just emotional readiness. If you can master the art of multitasking in the bathroom, you may just be prepared for the rewarding—and often chaotic—adventure of raising children.