Updated: July 6, 2023
As soon as I uttered those words, I wished I could take them back.
It began innocently enough with a friend’s casual inquiry, “How are you?” Before I knew it, I had transformed the conversation into a tiresome display of humblebrags cloaked in the guise of busyness. “I’m great! But super busy. We have so much going on!” I proceeded to enumerate all the work obligations, sports events, household tasks, social gatherings, and meetings that were consuming my family’s time. I even added a dramatic sigh about my lack of sleep and how drained I felt.
My friend nodded politely, offering no response. There it was—I had emerged victorious in the Busy Battle.
In recent years, being busy has morphed into a badge of honor. The more “busy” you are, the better you seem to others. But why do we engage in this competitive spirit?
It appears that sharing our busy lives has become the go-to humblebrag. We list our responsibilities as if they confer some sort of worth. We play the martyr, drowning in an ocean of obligations that we believe is deeper than anyone else’s. “Oh, you think you’re busy?” we say. “Try juggling ballet, soccer, swimming, travel baseball, hockey, a long commute, school board meetings, and both parents working!” Yet, as I spilled my busy woes to my friend, I realized how deeply entrenched I was in this nonsense, and I wanted out.
Being busy should not equate to superiority. It’s not a contest we need to win.
Don’t misunderstand me; I’m all for living a vibrant life. We have one opportunity to experience this world, so let’s make the most of it. If staying busy is your choice, then go for it. The fact remains, however, that we are genuinely busy. But when did this become a competition?
Whether from life’s demands or our choices, we are all busy. Some of us are busy at work, struggling to make ends meet with long hours, tough bosses, and multiple jobs. We balance work emails while attending our children’s events and skip meals to catch family time. Others are consumed with home life—changing diapers, managing tantrums, and helping with school homework. We have volunteers planning fundraisers, juggling family commitments, and even trying to carve out time for self-care. Yes, we’re busy.
But this constant rivalry over who is the busiest? It’s exhausting and frankly, a bit maddening.
So, I’m stepping back from the “busy but good” qualifiers when someone asks how I’m doing. I refuse to provide a laundry list of my commitments. I’m quitting this marathon of busyness. It’s draining, tedious, and ultimately, no one wins. Besides, I’m far too busy for that.
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In short, let’s move away from glorifying our busyness. We’re all in the same boat, and it’s time to acknowledge that without turning it into a contest.