Dear Journal,
Hooray! School’s out for my kids, and we’ve officially kicked off summer vacation. A glorious ten weeks without the hassle of alarms, homework crises, or sprinting after the school bus while clutching a forgotten lunch. All I have to wear is a bathrobe and my long-overdue leg hair—ah, the joys of summer!
This year, we’re embracing a classic summer vibe—no screens involved. Just my kids, me, and a trusty minivan ready to explore. I’ve poured hours into crafting the perfect itinerary, scouring Pinterest for inventive ways to ensure each day is brimming with fun and laughter.
Inspired by Pinterest, I thought it’d be great to keep a summer journal. Time flies with kids, and I want to capture every fleeting moment. It’s strange how my memory of past summers seems to have vanished, much like the recollections of a near-miss car accident or a horror movie chase scene.
Week 1
We kicked off our adventure with a trip to the zoo, joining the throngs of families seeking the ultimate summer experience. The parking lot was a sea of strollers, and we found ourselves stuck in the gift shop—the only air-conditioned haven in sight. I turned to a fellow parent and exclaimed, “What a perfect day for the zoo! I’m thrilled summer is finally here!” She smiled back, though her grin seemed a tad forced.
Week 2
I presented my children with a treasure trove of 90 Pinterest ideas, only to have nearly all of them shot down. Who wouldn’t want to put on a puppet show inspired by West Side Story or embark on a tour of the local light bulb factory? Apparently, my kids have a unique definition of “fun.” Back to brainstorming.
Week 3
I’ve officially run out of Pinterest inspiration. In light of the chaos, I’ve decided to lift my ban on electronics. I need a moment of peace to regain my sanity, and let’s be honest, a little screen time offers a much-needed break from the bickering. It’s as if they take pleasure in driving me crazy! On another note, I’ve picked up smoking—kidding! Thankfully, we’ll be on vacation next week.
Week 4
“Vacation” has taken on a whole new meaning since the arrival of my children. I used to think of it as a relaxing getaway, but now it feels like an ordeal. Traveling with kids should be nicknamed “a trip,” “a nightmare,” or “Hey darling, since I handled all the planning, can you please get off your beach chair to help me set up this umbrella?” Seriously, why do they always have to go there?
Week 5
My kids have turned against me. It’s become a competition to see who can make me lose my cool first. Their tactics include endlessly complaining about boredom while rejecting every suggestion I make, standing in front of a full fridge while declaring there’s nothing to eat, and yelling, “Mommy’s in the bathroom!” at unsuspecting neighbors.
Week 6
Eureka! I’ve come up with the best solution: two weeks of sleepaway camp! I adored it as a kid. But of course, by now, all the good camps were full, so I settled for the only option left—circus camp. At least I think it was camp; the kids had to file W-2s before they could start grooming a yak.
Week 7
I miss my kids! Two weeks apart feels like an eternity. What was so terrible about summer again?
Week 8
My children have become absolute terrors. Reflecting on my own childhood, I recall my mom driving my sisters and me to the pool for morning lessons. She’d hand us a dollar for a candy bar and a quarter to call her when it was time to pick us up. If we dialed too early, she’d simply ask, “Is there blood? No? I’ll be there at six.” I used to think that was harsh; now, I admire her! She should run for office.
Week 9
Stares blankly at the calendar.
Week 10
We made it! This week, I took the kids to buy school supplies, and it felt like Christmas morning. Parents everywhere flocked to the stores, finally able to exhale with relief. I spotted the woman from the zoo and, with tears in our eyes, we shared a moment of triumph. “We did it!” she said, shaking me. “We survived!”
“I know,” I replied, wiping my own tears. “Want to come over next week for a puppet show? I’ve got everything ready.”
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In summary, what started as a carefully crafted summer plan unraveled into a whirlwind of chaos, laughter, and unexpected twists. Through the ups and downs, I’ve learned to embrace the beauty of imperfection in family life.