Last week, my partner, Sarah, achieved a significant milestone by graduating from college. For five years, she juggled her studies part-time while raising three children, including welcoming our youngest during that period, all while I balanced two jobs.
Throughout those years, I often returned home to find her in comfortable clothes, bent over a laptop, her eyes weary, with our children snuggled on the couch and a movie flickering in the background. College transformed her into a night owl and a morning person, pushing her to the limits as she sought every spare moment to complete her assignments.
When Sarah gave birth to our youngest daughter, Lily, just before the spring semester ended, I suggested she take a break. However, she was determined to stay on track, believing she could manage her coursework alongside her recovery from a scheduled C-section. It felt like a delicate balancing act, with each day a race against time.
She worked tirelessly to stay ahead in her classes before Lily’s arrival, frequently communicating with her professors. Yet, as the day approached, she found herself slightly behind, as life with kids and pregnancy often interfered with her studies.
In the hospital, as I cradled our newborn daughter, Sarah was propped up in bed, her laptop resting on her lap, diligently engaging in online discussions and drafting papers. It was a scene that mirrored my own college days when I, too, was balancing parenthood with my education, albeit without the recent physical demands of childbirth.
When I reflect on my own experience, I realize that my commitment paled in comparison to Sarah’s fierce determination post-delivery. What she accomplished was nothing short of extraordinary.
A month later, she had to request an incomplete for her spring classes to finish the semester over the summer. When she made that request, I could see her vulnerability, as if she were admitting defeat. I knew her reasons were valid, yet she wrestled with the notion that giving birth should not hinder her educational aspirations. Together, we composed emails to her professors, and she expressed her hopes that they would understand—of course, they did. One professor even praised her for her tenacity and dedication.
In the two years following Lily’s birth, I remember trying to soothe our toddler during her nap time. When Sarah returned home from class, she effortlessly took over, cradling our daughter on her hip while simultaneously writing a term paper with her free hand. Her ability to multitask was nothing short of impressive.
During each semester, Sarah would occasionally feel overwhelmed. “I just want to be a mom,” she would say, emphasizing the word “just” as if it implied simplicity. But being a mom encompasses a multitude of roles, and her commitment to balancing motherhood with education was genuinely inspiring. She often worried about the time she devoted to her studies at the expense of family time, which prompted me to step up as her cheerleader. “You’re doing amazing,” I would encourage her. “You’ve got this! How can I support you?”
While I aimed to help with long-term changes around the house, often she merely needed me to handle small tasks, like packing a lunch, which, although trivial, felt monumental during midterms.
Witnessing her dedication during those intense moments highlighted the magnitude of her struggles. At her graduation ceremony, our eldest daughter placed the tassel on Sarah’s cap. Although I’m unsure if our daughter fully grasped the significance of this achievement, I look forward to showing her that photo in the future, reminding her of the hard work that went into earning that diploma.
As I reflect on Sarah’s journey, I recognize that her experience is shared by many. According to the Institute for Women’s Policy Research, there were 3.4 million student mothers in 2014. To all of you incredible women, I am in awe. Your commitment to both family and education is truly inspiring.
Your journey embodies the essence of resilience, and you deserve recognition for the hard work you put into both your families and your futures. Whether you’re navigating college or balancing various responsibilities, your strength is undeniable.
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In summary, to all the mothers returning to school: your grit and determination make you champions. Your journey, while unique, resonates with the struggles and victories of many women around the world.