In my family, extravagant vacations are not in the cards, so this spring break, we opted for a “staycation.” I was determined to make it a memorable experience. I suggested we could visit the local amusement park one day, explore the city another day, and each child could select a nearby park to enjoy. I even proposed fun activities like picnics, sidewalk chalk art, mural-making, and science experiments.
“What do you want to do?” I asked, trying to convey my enthusiasm. I genuinely wanted our staycation to be enjoyable.
“Uh…” my 9-year-old replied, “I want an afternoon to play Monopoly with you because you always say you’ll play, but you never do. And I want another day to finish that play script Dad and I started a year ago.”
I was taken aback. As a parent of multiple children, there’s always an underlying worry that I’m not providing enough individual attention, but rarely does it come to the forefront like this.
I felt a mixture of pride and guilt; my son had articulated his needs so clearly. It brought back memories of when he was five and I was pregnant with his younger brother. I wanted him to have a sibling, but I was terrified of how it would alter our special bond—those endless hours playing games, reading stories, and creating art together. I feared all of that would vanish in an instant.
Looking back, I realize my concerns were somewhat justified, and I still struggle with guilt over it. My older son and I manage to carve out moments for crafts and baking, but often, his younger sibling is right there, disrupting the flow—spilling batter or splashing paint everywhere.
At times, I feel my second child is at a disadvantage compared to my first. Although I spend the day with him while his brother is in school, life is distinctly different than it was when my oldest was little. Early mornings, more errands, and a general sense of exhaustion mean I’m less fun than I used to be.
This is a common struggle among parents with multiple children—a persistent guilt over not being able to devote adequate quality time to each child.
Despite these feelings, I have no regrets about having more than one child. Although they squabble just as much as they play together, I see them forging a bond that will last a lifetime. Each child is learning that the world won’t cater to their every desire and that life is about flexibility and sharing.
Yet, I still wish I could offer more to each child, to truly focus on them individually without the constant distractions of their sibling. It’s a bittersweet realization.
My older son and I did manage to spend an afternoon playing Monopoly. While my husband entertained our younger child, my son and I retreated to his room. I hadn’t played in ages, and he guided me on strategies for purchasing properties. I was impressed by his quick math skills and strategic thinking.
Our game wasn’t extraordinary; it was a simple afternoon of laughter and connection. We enjoyed each other’s company, our toes brushing together as we played, and he playfully punched my arm a few times. However, our time was interrupted when his brother started crying as dinner approached.
As we packed away the game, I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to savor that connection. I was flooded with nostalgia for the days when it was just the two of us.
I felt a pang of guilt as I said, “Sorry we didn’t finish.” “It’s OK,” he replied, “I pretty much won anyway.” I told him I had a wonderful time, and he gave me a shy smile followed by a sincere “me too” as he dashed off to join his dad and brother.
Perhaps this is how spending time with my children will be for now—imperfect and fragmented. But I believe my son enjoyed the time we shared, and his cheerful demeanor throughout the day confirmed it.
I hope that when my children reflect on their childhood, they’ll remember these moments of joy and connection rather than the interruptions. I plan to prioritize more afternoons like that with both of my kids. We don’t need grand plans; simply being together is what truly matters. I’ll also give myself grace when I feel overwhelmed about not spending enough time with them. Even the smallest moments hold great significance for my children.
I know, however, that I’ll always carry a nagging feeling that it’s not enough, and I suppose that’s just part of the parenting journey.
For more insights into family dynamics, check out this article on intracervicalinsemination.com. And if you’re considering options for family planning, Make A Mom offers excellent resources. For further information on pregnancy, visit the CDC’s pregnancy page.
Summary:
Navigating parenthood with multiple children often leads to feelings of guilt over the inability to give each child enough individual attention. In this reflective piece, Dr. Emily Carter shares her experiences of a staycation with her children, highlighting the importance of small moments of connection amidst the chaos of daily life. Ultimately, she emphasizes that while perfection may be unattainable, the joy of simply being together is what truly matters.