Dear Boys,
Let’s have a candid chat about the little guy that often occupies your thoughts and, at times, your hands. As a mother, it’s my responsibility to shed some light on the topic of your penis. Though I may not have firsthand experience, I have spent years observing yours and others, so I feel equipped to share some wisdom. Here are nine crucial things every young boy should understand about this important part of your anatomy.
- Easy Does It: First off, there’s no need to worry—your penis isn’t going anywhere. It will remain nestled in your pants (assuming you’re wearing any), so you can stop gripping it like it’s a stress ball during your favorite show or while dozing off. It’s a lifelong companion, so treat it with care!
- A Firm Hold Is Key: While we’re on the subject, having a secure grip is essential when you’re using the toilet. Without it, things can get messy, and trust me, nobody wants a bathroom disaster.
- Keep It Under Wraps: Remember, there’s a time and place for everything, including your penis. This advice will become even more important during your teenage years. So, please refrain from placing it on your sibling’s arm, dipping it in your drink, or using it as a prop for your toys.
- Stretching Isn’t Encouraged: I know it might seem like a fun idea to see how far you can stretch it, but trust me, it’s not a good look. Just don’t do it.
- Hand Hygiene Matters: You may find yourself letting go of it to grab something else—like a snack or, heaven forbid, your brother’s face. If this happens, make sure to wash your hands before touching anything else. It’s just polite and keeps everyone healthy.
- No Need for Panic: If it’s facing the wrong way or tangled up in your underwear, it’s not the end of the world. No need for a dramatic meltdown.
- Choose Your Spots Wisely: Yes, it’s convenient to urinate outdoors, but that doesn’t mean you should. Respect your surroundings and save it for the bathroom.
- Privacy Is Key: If you feel the urge to twist or fidget with it, please do so in the privacy of your room. We’d appreciate a little less awkwardness in common areas.
- We’ve Seen It All: There’s no need to show off post-bath; we’re all well aware of what’s going on. Save the theatrics for your own entertainment.
I hope this letter serves as a practical guide to help you understand proper behavior regarding your penis. Embrace a sense of dignity about your body—it’s important. You’ll thank me later, or at the very least, your future partner will!
With all my love,
Mom
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