Parenting Insights
In today’s parenting landscape, it seems we’ve lost sight of some fundamental truths. As parents, we are so focused on nurturing every aspect of our children’s development that we often censor our expressions of love and admiration. Have you told your daughter she is beautiful? Or your son that he is handsome? If so, you might feel a twinge of guilt, as if you’re somehow undermining their self-worth. But here’s the truth: affirmations of beauty are not harmful; they are essential.
When a parent tells their daughter, “You look lovely today,” it is not an endorsement of superficiality. It’s simply an acknowledgment of her beauty at that moment. The idea that we shouldn’t comment on our children’s appearance for fear of setting them up for a lifetime of insecurity is misguided. Beauty is not just about looks; it’s an expression of how we perceive the world and ourselves.
Remember the overwhelming joy you felt when you first held your baby? Did you hesitate to say, “She is stunning!” or “He is so handsome!”? No, you instinctively recognized their beauty. We should keep that same spirit alive as they grow.
Your children deserve to hear that they are beautiful, both inside and out. I, for one, do not want my college-aged son to be the first to tell your daughter she is pretty. No young woman should have to wait until then to hear such affirmations. She should hear it from the people who love her most—her parents.
If you’re worried that complimenting their looks might overshadow their other qualities, such as intelligence and kindness, don’t be. It’s crucial to balance beauty with other attributes. Remind them they are more than their appearance, and emphasize qualities like strength, intelligence, and compassion. For example, if your child is rude or disrespectful, point that out too—character is as important as looks.
The media has set impossible standards for beauty that are not only unrealistic but also damaging. With magazines aimed at young girls promoting body image perfection, we must counteract this narrative. Every child needs to know they are beautiful in their unique way. So tell them—don’t overthink it. Share your thoughts about their beauty in the moment, without waiting for the “right” time.
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In summary, let’s not shy away from telling our children they are beautiful. Embrace every opportunity to lift them up and remind them of their worth. While they are still young and impressionable, let them know how truly special they are.