A Doctor’s Neighborhood Guidelines for Parenting

low cost IUI

When my partner and I began our journey together, we found ourselves living in a cramped city apartment, feeling like strangers in a bustling environment. While we could identify the occasional parking spot thief or the late-night neighbor who would stumble home, we didn’t have any real connections. Our circle consisted of friends from outside our building, but we lacked what I now refer to as “community friends.”

When we moved into our first house in a suburban neighborhood, we were novices at homeownership. Our attempts at landscaping and DIY projects entertained the neighbors, who often came out to witness our gardening mishaps. Despite this, we still hadn’t formed a circle of friends to share casual Friday night margaritas or Saturday game nights.

That all transformed with the arrival of our children. Suddenly, the neighborhood buzzed with life. It felt like we had been granted access to an exclusive club filled with playdates, book clubs, and friendly gatherings. Our kids had best buddies just a few yards away, and we toasted to new friendships every Friday night.

However, beneath the idyllic surface of our suburban life, I noticed tensions brewing. Minor disagreements over social invitations, discussions about questionable home renovations, and gossip about property values made me realize that neighborhoods could benefit from a new set of guidelines—beyond the typical homeowner association rules. I envisioned a manifesto for a thriving community, one that fosters connection and understanding.

Here are the principles I’d like to propose for our neighborhood manifesto:

1. I vow to always have a freezer stocked with popsicles, and I won’t bat an eye when your child requests one during the summer. We’re keeping it simple around here.
2. If I see your child biking without a helmet, you can bet I’ll shout, “Get back here and put on your helmet before you hurt yourself!”
3. I promise that if you choose not to attend my jewelry, kitchen gadgets, or essential oils parties, I won’t take offense. In fact, let’s ban any gatherings that require neighbors to purchase items they don’t need.
4. In the event of a natural disaster, I will lend a hand. This includes sending my partner to assist you with shoveling snow while I bring over some refreshments.
5. While you’re away, I’ll collect your mail and newspaper, and I promise not to judge if I spot overdue bills.
6. If I bring food to a gathering, you can expect it to be store-bought, complete with the price tag left on. Chips will stay in their bags; dips will have lids, and desserts will proudly bear the grocery store’s label.
7. I’ll always have coffee and wine on hand. If you’re having a tough day, I’ll offer you a mug or a glass—no judgment if you prefer the wine at 9 a.m.
8. When “Thriller” plays at any gathering, I will get up and dance, complete with the iconic laugh. Any music from this century will be swiftly replaced with ’80s hits.
9. Parents who are running late will be responsible for bus stop duties, but all kids will be collected and cared for until their parents arrive.
10. If your dog does its business in someone else’s yard, please clean it up—failure to do so results in planning the annual block party.
11. In times of grief or family emergencies, please refrain from bringing lasagna. A thoughtful gesture of booze is preferred instead.
12. If a neighbor lists their home, we are entitled to check the listing on Zillow and provide constructive feedback on the décor.
13. Neighborhood game nights will include Cards Against Humanity and beer pong, while Scrabble will be banned from Saturday evenings.
14. If you don’t receive an invite to a gathering, know that it was likely an oversight or a lack of hot dog buns. Don’t sulk; just drop by.
15. Treat your neighbors’ pools as you’d want yours treated—sharing is caring for those without one.

Being part of a neighborhood doesn’t have to resemble a scripted drama. These guidelines would enhance community spirit and ensure that we all have fun. Add in a monthly “Beer Fund” and a block party with live music, and I’d never want to leave this wonderful neighborhood.

For more insights on home insemination, check out this post here. For resources on pregnancy and home insemination, you can visit here. If you’re looking for the best tools for home insemination, make sure to check out this kit.

Summary:

This article presents a lighthearted yet practical manifesto for fostering a supportive neighborhood community, emphasizing the importance of camaraderie, understanding, and shared responsibilities. By implementing these guidelines, we can create a welcoming atmosphere that enriches our lives and strengthens our ties.