As I sit down to reflect on my experience with maternity leave, I can’t help but recognize my privilege. I’m aware that many in this country lack sufficient paid family leave, and while I am grateful for the support from my employer, I find it disheartening to confront the challenges that many parents face.
I have been fortunate enough to be eligible for the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA), which guarantees me some unpaid leave. My employer also offers three weeks of paid maternity leave, and I was able to take an extended unpaid leave when my circumstances required it. Thankfully, my position was somewhat secure during this time, and I had supportive colleagues around me.
I had meticulously planned my maternity leave, aligning the timing of my pregnancy with strategic financial considerations. I had savings set aside and arranged for my son to avoid daycare costs for a few months after his birth. I anticipated a standard 12 weeks away from work, coinciding with a less busy period.
However, life took an unexpected turn when my son, Leo, arrived two months early. After spending two weeks in the hospital before his birth, I found myself concluding my maternity leave just weeks after he was discharged. I am grateful that I had the flexibility to extend my unpaid leave, allowing me to stay home while he was still receiving care. Many parents are not so fortunate; they often face the dilemma of returning to work while their baby is still in the NICU, hoping to save some leave for when their child comes home.
So, what’s the issue?
Despite my good fortune, I recently examined my year-end pay stub and noticed I earned 20% less last year than the previous year. Like many women, I returned from my leave with no sick or vacation time left. I’m grateful to have accrued these benefits, yet I still had to place my vulnerable baby in daycare and return to work while grappling with the emotional aftermath of his early birth.
You can imagine what followed. I had my own medical appointments to attend, while Leo had his. Illness swept through our household, and despite my best efforts to be proactive, I found myself with a dwindling supply of sick time. Just last week, Leo contracted a respiratory virus, leading to a hospital visit where I held him as he struggled to breathe. By the end of the ordeal, I had exhausted my sick time, and my paycheck reflected only 28 hours of work for the week. Yet, I still consider myself lucky.
I am fortunate to have a job that permits such flexibility, and I know it could be much worse. Other parents are forced to make agonizing choices between job security and caring for their sick children. Some must return to work only days after giving birth, simply to provide for their families. Moreover, many children are missing out on timely health care because their parents cannot afford to take leave without risking their employment.
The ability to care for our children, partners, or parents should not be seen as a privilege; it should be an expectation for every family. While some argue that having children is a choice that comes with consequences, I firmly reject that notion.
There are layers to this issue that I cannot fully cover here—the rising costs of healthcare, daycare, and the lack of paid parental leave are intricately connected, creating a society that fails to support the very children who will contribute to our future workforce. It is disheartening that a mere 12 weeks of unpaid leave is considered sufficient, even if a child arrives early. The emotional and financial strain extends far beyond that initial time off, leading to broader public health implications we are all paying for.
In Summary:
Leo arrived prematurely, resulting in a 20% drop in my income. I spent last week caring for him in the hospital, yet I am grateful I still have my job. We need to reevaluate how we define “luck” in the context of parental leave.
For more on related topics, you can explore resources at WHO’s pregnancy page or learn about products that can assist in the home insemination process at Make A Mom.