As if navigating the beach with a little one isn’t challenging enough, you often have to deal with unsolicited advice from strangers. The next time someone tries to comment on your beach outing, consider these snappy responses to send them on their way:
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“Oh, he seems SO overheated!”
Really? It’s summer, we’re at the beach, and my baby has a bit of color on his cheeks. Shocking, I know. But that’s just the joy of being outside. Honestly, it was much warmer when he was in my belly. Bye! -
“Did you know babies can get sunburned in the shade?”
And you are? A sunbathing expert from the 70s? Sure, let me take parenting advice from a total stranger. Your leathery skin suggests you’ve had some sun exposure yourself. But wait, I don’t need to justify anything to you. -
“Is he wearing sunscreen?”
Oh, absolutely! I just coated him in baby oil, because who wouldn’t want to bake their child in the sun? Clearly, a base tan is essential, right? -
“It looks like he needs some water.”
Thanks for the tip! That’s why I have his sippy cup filled with ice water right next to him for whenever he feels thirsty. Neat, huh? And this Solo cup? It’s full of vodka, which I’ll enjoy as you walk away. -
“Did you know he’s in the sun?”
Wait, my baby, who’s slathered in sunscreen and dressed in a long-sleeved rash guard, is getting sun exposure? How shocking! Oh wait, that’s why we’re at the beach! -
“Oh, I feel so sorry for him. He looks so hot.”
Actually, he’s laughing and munching on a sandwich under our umbrella. But please, keep feeling sorry for him. He’s clearly having a terrible time. Want to hold him while I swim hands-free? Thanks! -
“Do you realize he’s not wearing a hat?”
Oh, you mean the accessory that no baby will wear? Yes, I’m aware that his sunscreen-covered head is exposed to the sun. But guess what? It’s the same when we’re at the park or grocery store. No biggie! -
“He’s just SO YOUNG to be at the beach.”
Thanks for that insight, elderly lady with skin like a piece of leather. His rosy cheeks are just due to the 82-degree weather. He’s not dying, you know—he’s got 200 SPF on and is fully covered.
So, next time you feel compelled to share your thoughts with a beach-going mom, how about offering to watch her kids instead? Or just enjoy your own beach day, will ya?
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Summary:
Navigating the beach with a baby can be challenging, especially with unsolicited comments from strangers. This article humorously addresses common remarks and offers witty comebacks to deflect unwanted advice. It also provides links to resources on home insemination and pregnancy.