As I approach my 30th birthday, the inquiries about starting a family have intensified—from my mother, relatives, friends, and even acquaintances. While my partner and I do plan to have children eventually, we are not in any rush. We recently bought a house, but our timeline for parenthood remains uncertain.
After almost four years of marriage, there seems to be an expectation that couples should have children shortly after tying the knot. Sure, some people do, and that’s their choice. However, my husband and I have moved four times in four years, and I can’t help but think how much harder it would have been to manage those transitions with a child in tow.
Everyone has their own reasons for their choices regarding parenthood, and it’s crucial that we respect each other’s decisions without imposing judgment. Some may not want kids at all, are facing challenges in conceiving, or simply prefer to wait. Yet, I find myself frequently confronted with the following comments that I wish would stop:
- “When I was your age, I already had 3 kids!”
That’s great! I’ve traveled extensively and enjoyed experiences that shape who I am today. I look forward to traveling with kids someday, but I imagine it’s a bit easier without them. - “You seem like a natural with that baby. Maybe it’s time for your own!”
I managed to hold it without dropping! Clearly, that makes me ready for full-time parenthood, right? - “Let me share a horror story about my childbirth experience…”
No, thanks! I do wish to have children someday, but hearing scary tales doesn’t make the idea any more appealing. My own pet-related stories are not quite as dramatic. - “You’re not getting any younger.”
True, but neither are you! Time keeps moving for everyone. - “Your kids will be adorable.”
What if they’re not? Just saying that because of my mixed heritage? - “Are you next?”
I can’t predict anyone’s reproductive choices, including my own, so why ask? - “Having a dog is not the same as having a child.”
Thank goodness! Dogs can be left alone for a few hours, which is not the case for kids. Plus, they don’t require midnight feedings after a few months! - “Having a puppy means you can handle a baby!”
Make up your mind—either it’s a huge responsibility or it’s not! - “Can’t you hear your biological clock ticking?”
Not at all. Maybe I’m too busy enjoying life’s music! Or perhaps it’s just turned off. - “So, when will you have a baby?”
Definitely not in the next nine months. But don’t worry, you’ll find out eventually! You probably won’t be the first to know, but you will meet the little one before they head off to college.
Please refrain from making these kinds of comments to people who may or may not want children. They often create awkward moments, regardless of your intent. Parents, especially mothers, tend to ask these questions relentlessly, but we can let that slide—Hi, Mom!
For those considering parenthood, whether through traditional means or exploring options like home insemination, resources like WomensHealth.gov are excellent. If you’re curious about fertility boosters for men, check out Make A Mom for reliable information. For more insights on the process of home insemination, you can visit this link.
In summary, as I near 30 and navigate the conversations surrounding parenthood, it’s essential to foster understanding and respect for individual choices. Each person’s journey is unique, and we should honor that.