As a physician in my early 50s, I’ve often contemplated the nuances of parenthood and the profound desires that accompany it. The most pressing question I’ve encountered, particularly from those unfamiliar with my journey, is “Why do you want to adopt?”
This question often comes with raised eyebrows and a tilted head, as if my desire to nurture and provide love is somehow unusual. Yet, the answer is quite straightforward: I want to love and be loved. It’s that simple.
I am already a proud father to a son in his 20s who has just graduated from college. This experience has taught me the myriad joys and challenges of being a parent, and I know what I am signing up for. My resolve was solidified last summer when a colleague, David, joyfully announced that he and his partner were expecting their third child. The excitement surrounding this news was palpable, yet no one questioned David’s motivations or asked him to justify the addition to his family.
The disparity in responses is stark. While David faces no skepticism about his desire to expand his family, I find myself confronted with a barrage of inquiries, seemingly implying that as a gay man, my aspirations to parenthood are somehow less legitimate.
Why is it that society often presumes that LGBTQ+ individuals are too engrossed in their “alternative lifestyles” to consider the responsibilities of parenthood? The truth is, we are multidimensional beings with careers, friendships, and dreams—many of us, like myself, also yearn to be parents. We are responsible citizens who pay taxes and contribute to our communities.
If I had to provide a more profound reason for my desire to adopt, I could share my own experiences of disappointment and isolation. Many children in foster care face similar challenges, and I believe that my background equips me to guide them through their struggles. I remember yearning for a savior during my own childhood, fantasizing about a person who would whisk me away to a life filled with love and stability. I know there are children today, especially in places like Mississippi, who are waiting for someone to come along and fulfill that dream.
While I understand the complexities and potential obstacles of adoption—especially in a state where legislation like SB 1523 permits discrimination against LGBTQ+ applicants—I remain hopeful. Mississippi is also home to a significant number of gay couples raising children, demonstrating that love transcends societal barriers.
Ultimately, my motivation boils down to the universal desire to love and be loved. I want to be there for homework, baseball games, and all the small moments that make parenting so rewarding.
For those exploring the options of home insemination or artificial methods to start a family, resources like this guide can provide valuable insights. Additionally, understanding the medical aspects of pregnancy can be found in this excellent resource. If you’re curious about alternative family-building options, check out this post for more information.
In the end, I’m ready to face whatever challenges lie ahead, knowing that the journey of love and parenthood is worth every effort.