When your child reaches the age of preschool, you often feel relieved enough to leave only the essentials for a babysitter—like the pizza delivery number and your streaming service login. However, for new parents, especially anxious dads, leaving a child with a babysitter for the first time can be a daunting experience. That’s when detailed instructions become the norm.
A Reddit user, named Jameson, recently shared an email his wife had sent him, containing the highly intricate guidelines he had penned for their babysitter. This email offers a humorous look into the psyche of a first-time father who is a bit overzealous about babysitting protocols.
Feeding and Soothing Tips
First on the list: how to manage feeding and soothe a fussy baby. One standout tip discusses the “unique” aroma of baby poop—something any babysitter is likely to encounter. Notably, Jameson also specified the optimal timing for warming a bottle in “your” microwave, which suggests he might have conducted a trial run at the babysitter’s home beforehand to ensure the milk was just right.
His cautionary advice to “carefully” open a possibly messy diaper is amusing because, quite frankly, the smell alone is a universal warning sign that requires no further explanation. Just in case the babysitter needed guidance, he even provided a strategy for diaper changes: a quick glance before unwrapping to assess cleanup needs, which is actually a clever tip.
Engaging with the Baby
Next, he offered insights into engaging with the baby. Whether the babysitter was a family friend or a hired service, one can only imagine the job listing: “Must be CPR-certified for infants and able to perform a captivating version of Ed Sheeran’s ‘Photograph.’
He also explained the purpose of pacifiers and set a limit on how many baby bounces on the knee are appropriate. The humor lies in his insistence that swaddles are “stupid-proof,” yet he felt the need to elaborate on the proper technique for putting one on. It paints a vivid picture of a dad anxiously monitoring the bouncing of his baby, timing each bounce with precision.
A Relatable Experience
As a fellow parent who once filled multiple pages with detailed instructions for my mother when leaving my twins with her, I can truly relate to Jameson’s over-preparedness. Parenting isn’t always instinctive, and many tasks that seem straightforward to seasoned parents can feel overwhelming to novices. It’s refreshing to see a dad openly express these worries, breaking the stereotype that only moms fret about childcare.
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In summary, Jameson’s detailed and humorous babysitting instructions provide a relatable glimpse into the minds of new parents, highlighting both the anxiety and the love that accompany caring for a newborn.