Back in high school, I had a science teacher I’ll refer to as Mr. Johnson. He held a rather outdated belief that boys were inherently better suited for understanding physics, often expressing this notion openly. I struggled not just with the complexities of the subject, but also under the weight of his condescension. Whenever I asked questions, he would ridicule me, and his grading was anything but fair. I barely scraped through that class, and to this day, the thought of physics makes me uneasy.
Fast forward three decades, and now I’m the proud mother of two bright, well-adjusted kids. Our local school district is known for its dedicated teachers and strong administration, drawing families to the area in anticipation of kindergarten. So far, my children have thrived in this environment, benefiting from wonderful educators who have often become close friends of ours. That is, until one particular year when my son faced a teacher who seemed to have a clear disdain for him.
My son is an insightful, curious child who has typically excelled in his studies. Math comes easily to him, and he reads well above his grade level. He’s generally a diligent student, but everything changed in one of his classes a few years ago. Whether it was due to developmental changes, increasing complexity in the material, or a combination of both, he found himself struggling in the early weeks of the school year. Homework became forgotten, test scores dropped, and poor study habits began to emerge. After many discussions, he finally shared that he was genuinely confused about the subject matter.
Though I believe in allowing my children to navigate their own challenges, I also feel the need to advocate for them when they’re having difficulties. Thus, I arranged a meeting with the teacher. To my astonishment, she bluntly told me that she didn’t believe my son was as intelligent as he thought he was, and she had low expectations for his performance. Most shockingly, she admitted that she simply didn’t like him.
My first instinct was to defend my child fiercely. However, I remained composed, fighting back tears of frustration while trying to absorb her harsh words. Clearly, my son had encountered his own version of Mr. Johnson. It was evident that this teacher’s negative outlook stemmed from years of teaching, and I recognized that she was unlikely to change. It became my responsibility to equip my son with tools to handle the situation.
When I returned home, I had an honest conversation with him about what the teacher had said. He already sensed that he wasn’t favored, but he had resolved to work harder, not to prove her wrong, but to prove to himself that he could succeed. When he finished our talk with a grin and said, “It’ll really get to her if I pull off an A,” I realized he would be just fine.
The remainder of the year saw him put in considerable effort. He sought help with difficult concepts and diligently worked through the material. When he came home with an A on his final report card, I was filled with pride. I asked if the teacher had commented on his improvement, and he relayed that she had made a dismissive remark about him never being advanced in the subject. To her surprise, he calmly replied, “Maybe not advanced, but definitely improved. Improvement is just as important.” I was in awe of his resilience.
Teachers are human, and it’s unrealistic to expect them to connect with every student. Most educators strive to remain professional and manage their personal feelings, but it can still be challenging. Watching my child feel undervalued was difficult, yet I’m grateful I trusted him to rise to the occasion. He often reflects on that challenging year, mentioning how empowered it made him feel. It was a lesson in perseverance and self-discovery.
As for me, I still struggle with physics, but I did manage to earn an A in college-level science. It felt great to overcome that past hurdle.
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Summary: When a teacher dislikes your child, it can be a challenging experience for both parent and child. Through open communication and support, a child can learn resilience and improve academically despite facing adversity. This journey can empower them and help them discover their own capabilities.