I once spent nearly two years as a stay-at-home dad, and I’ve got to admit—it wasn’t my favorite gig. But that wasn’t because of my partner, Sarah. The experience was monotonous, lonely, and often exhausting. Sure, I formed a strong bond with my son, and we shared many joyful moments. Still, I’d be lying if I claimed I didn’t miss the structure and engagement of a workplace. It’s precisely because of those memories that I’m committed to supporting Sarah now that she is home with our new baby.
Being a stay-at-home parent, whether you’re a dad or a mom, is a demanding job that deserves appreciation, respect, and a helping hand now and then. No matter how much love you have for your kids, when your partner walks in from work, it’s their turn to step up. A working parent can sometimes lose sight of how draining the day has been for the one at home. It’s almost comical how quickly I’ll be handed a messy toddler, while Sarah makes a beeline for a glass of wine. But that’s how it should be—it’s my responsibility to pitch in when I’m home.
One of the first things I do is encourage Sarah to enjoy a girls’ night out whenever she can. I’ll take care of the kids that evening and the next morning, allowing her some much-needed adult interaction and a chance to unwind. Of course, I’m not completely altruistic; once the kids are asleep, I can indulge in that Netflix series she’s not interested in or catch the game without interruption. Every night she gets to recharge is a win for me!
When I arrive home from work, I avoid creating more chaos. There’s already enough clutter from a day of parenting, and I make it a point not to add to it. It’s vital to respect the hard work that’s been done throughout the day—navigating through a sea of toys, laundry, and snack leftovers is no small feat. My wife recently texted me about a particularly messy situation with the baby, and I can’t imagine how stressed she must have felt. The least I can do is to not contribute to the mess when I walk through the door.
If you want to make a positive impression upon returning home, consider bringing takeout, a bottle of wine, or even flowers. Thoughtful gestures are always appreciated, as they show you recognize the effort your partner puts into running the household. Acknowledge that being a stay-at-home parent is as challenging as working in an office. While they might not receive a paycheck or have a commute, the stress and responsibility are significant. If a mistake happens at work, you might lose your job, but if a stay-at-home parent makes a mistake, it could have dire consequences. The pressure they face is intense.
On weekends, when both you and your partner are at home, take the initiative. Get up early and brew the coffee, or take the kids to the park to give your partner some extra rest. Working from home is not the same as a job with office hours; weekends are just as demanding for stay-at-home parents. Both of you are fully engaged in parenting; your partner’s work is no less valid because it doesn’t take place in an office.
Remember, staying at home with kids doesn’t only apply to mothers. This advice is equally relevant for working wives as well. Just maybe skip the flowers for them!
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In summary, being a stay-at-home parent is a demanding job that deserves recognition and support from their partner. By sharing responsibilities, acknowledging the challenges, and being thoughtful, parents can create a more balanced and appreciative home environment.