As a physician who has witnessed the emotional journey of countless families in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU), I have seen how challenging it can be for parents when faced with the decision of naming their premature babies. Recently, a mother, Sarah, shared her experience after giving birth to triplets at just 22 weeks of gestation. She recounted how, after a harrowing near-death experience, she was asked by a nurse if she and her husband would be naming their children. Until that moment, the babies were simply referred to as “Baby A,” “Baby B,” and “Baby C.”
Given their extreme prematurity—over 17 weeks early—Sarah and her husband hadn’t prepared names in advance. The prospect of choosing names while grappling with the uncertainty of survival loomed large. They were overwhelmed by fear after nearly losing their triplets earlier in the pregnancy, and instead of selecting nursery themes, they were counting the days until their babies would be deemed viable.
Tragically, shortly after birth, their first child, Emma, passed away. In the wake of such profound grief, naming felt secondary. For two days, the couple had been in shock, only just beginning to process their loss. Yet, as they were introduced to the NICU, the nurses affectionately assigned nicknames to their surviving infants, igniting the realization that they needed to act.
On day three, despite being physically weak and connected to numerous medical devices, Sarah began to explore a list of names she had compiled over the years. She and her husband settled on the names Noah and Mia for their surviving children, both of whom were thriving against the odds. However, selecting a name for Emma was fraught with hesitation. The fear of “wasting” a name haunted her. How could she name a child she had only held for a fleeting moment?
With time, Sarah found solace in the realization that a name encapsulates more than just a label; it embodies the essence of a person. In retrospect, the name Emma resonated beautifully with her, and she felt grateful for trusting her instincts.
Three years later, Sarah reflects on her initial fears of losing the memory of Emma and Noah. Contrary to her worries, she hears their names echoed daily—whether through conversations with friends, family, or even from Mia, who softly utters her siblings’ names. The legacy of those two brief lives lives on through the vibrant personality of Mia, who has made a significant impact on those around her.
For any parent navigating similar circumstances, I encourage you to embrace the journey of naming your child. While the decision may seem daunting, it is crucial to remember that a name is a vital part of one’s identity and legacy. Resources like Progyny and Make A Mom can provide invaluable support as you embark on this emotional path. Additionally, you can find inspiration in this blog post that discusses the significance of names in the context of family and identity.
Summary
Naming premature infants can be an emotionally charged experience for parents, particularly when faced with the uncertainty of survival. A name carries profound significance, encapsulating identity and legacy. In the case of Sarah, who experienced the loss of one triplet, the journey of naming her surviving children became a meaningful reflection of love and resilience.