It was a whirlwind of nostalgia as I dove headfirst into the world of ABC’s Afterschool Specials. I hadn’t thought about these gems in years, yet suddenly, I found myself reciting lines from the episodes as if no time had passed. Many of us from the 80s and 90s remember watching stars like Anthony Kiedis, Vince Vaughn, Jodie Foster, and Leif Garrett tackle serious issues such as bullying, addiction, sexual harassment, and divorce. These young actors pulled off their roles with a unique blend of charm, delivering cringe-worthy dialogue and navigating plots that could rival any daytime soap.
Blind Sunday
The first episode I revisited was “Blind Sunday,” featuring a teenager named Jeff. In a bid to empathize with his blind girlfriend, he spends an entire day blindfolded. Kudos to you, Jeff, for trying! But honestly, do you realize how ridiculous you must look? If she did, the episode would likely end with her shoving you into traffic!
My Mom’s Having a Baby
Next up was “My Mom’s Having a Baby,” where a curious ten-year-old seeks to understand how babies are made. This episode struck a chord with me, as I recalled my own awkward conversation with my daughter when she was eight and I was nearing the end of my pregnancy with her little brother. When she asked how babies came to be, I whimsically told her I swallowed a magic bean. In reality, I had just been at a bar with her father, and let’s just say things got a bit hasty. It’s astonishing that Gavin even made it here at all!
Where Do Teenagers Come From?
Then came “Where Do Teenagers Come From?” which perfectly captured the confusion of a 12-year-old girl grappling with the changes in her body. I wish I had this episode as a guide a few weeks ago when I handed my 11-year-old daughter a towel after her shower, only to realize she was now sporting hair down there. “How cute!” I exclaimed. She promptly bolted from the bathroom and didn’t speak to me for days.
The First Egg
I couldn’t resist downloading “The First Egg,” where high school students embark on a parenting class and must care for an egg. I can only imagine my daughter’s reaction today—she’d drop the egg, blame her brother (who wouldn’t even be in the house), and then return to her Netflix binge without a second thought.
Alexander
Then there was “Alexander,” a tale of a retired clown’s undying affection for children. Yeah, not creepy at all! This was followed by “The Skating Rink,” highlighting the struggles of teenagers with stuttering in the late 70s. Naturally, the protagonist, Tom, overcomes his challenges to become a world-class figure skater.
Make Believe Marriage
Moving on to “Make Believe Marriage,” where high school students simulate married life. If we had taken this episode seriously, none of us would have made it to the altar. I can picture a Saturday filled with errands: grocery shopping, Home Depot, soccer practice, and then collapsing on the couch exhausted by 9 p.m. It’s all very romantic, isn’t it, kids?
Interestingly, during all those years from 1972 to 1997, ABC didn’t feature a single episode about gay teens. Bravo, ABC. You dedicated an entire episode to a melancholic clown while ignoring an entire segment of the youth population. I can just imagine Tom twirling around the ice rink, yelling, “Seriously, do you think I care about my stutter?”
The Unforgivable Secret
I wrapped up my viewing with “The Unforgivable Secret,” which tells the story of a 15-year-old shocked to learn that her supposedly deceased father is alive. This brought back memories of my childhood dog, Pepi. I was told at seven that he ran off to join a gang of neighborhood dogs. Years later, I discovered he had actually been put to sleep. Unforgivable, indeed.
Reflecting on these episodes was a delightful trip down memory lane, though I think I’ll keep the rest of them as cherished memories. Unless, of course, I’m feeling adventurous tonight. I might just see if my husband wants to reenact some scenes from “Dinky Hocker,” the story of a food-obsessed teen. “Hey there, Mister, I think your turkey drumstick would fit nicely in my self-cleaning oven.” Or maybe I’ll just stick to the food references from Dinky.
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In conclusion, while these specials are a fun reminder of my childhood, it’s clear that some topics were left untouched. Nevertheless, they hold a special place in my heart and continue to spark laughter and reflection.
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