This Sunday, families across the nation will come together to honor mothers. I will be joining my own mother, my mother-in-law, and my children for the occasion. However, this year, I find it difficult to fully embrace the celebration. A nagging feeling persists; I’ve been reflecting on how mothers are treated in America, and it’s infuriating.
The reality is that America does not adequately support its mothers.
The Start of Motherhood
Let’s begin at the start of motherhood—birth. Despite being the country that invests the most in healthcare for pregnant women, the U.S. has one of the highest infant mortality rates among developed nations. In recent years, maternal mortality rates have only increased. Tragically, it’s primarily lower-income mothers and those living in poverty who bear the brunt of this crisis, often lacking access to essential prenatal and maternity care.
According to the U.S. Census data from 2013, approximately 46.5 million Americans live in poverty. Unfortunately, mothers and their children are disproportionately affected. Many single-parent households are led by women, and nearly 31% of families headed by single mothers find themselves in poverty. The most staggering statistic? Around 16.1 million children in America are living in poverty.
These are children of mothers—mothers who may not always ensure their kids have a satisfying meal before bed. These mothers lie awake, burdened by the knowledge that their children are suffering. This is not merely a few individuals; we are talking about millions of mothers and children in our country.
This situation is unacceptable. This isn’t merely a political issue; it resonates deeply with me as a mother. I cannot accept that so many children are growing up under such dire circumstances. It sickens me.
Reflections on My Own Privilege
Initially, I intended to share my own motherhood struggles, to vent about the exhausting hours I put in, and to express my desire for a few hours of peace on Mother’s Day. However, upon reflecting on my own challenges, I realized these very struggles stem from a place of privilege.
My child may not sleep through the night, but he drifts off in a warm room with clean blankets. If he falls ill, we can drive our old, but reliable car to a doctor, and our insurance generally covers the costs. I often complain about the clutter of toys scattered across the floor, yet that’s only possible because my children have access to an abundance of them. While I fret over screen time, I should recognize the luxury of having multiple devices at our disposal.
Like many middle-class families, my family has faced financial challenges, particularly during the Great Recession. Three years ago, while I was expecting my second child, my husband lost his job when his long-term program was cut. For a year, as he worked toward a teaching certificate, we relied on food stamps. Although we were grateful for that assistance, it never fully covered our grocery needs. Anxiety loomed large as we navigated life in a cramped one-bedroom apartment, unsure of our future.
However, I never feared for my children’s survival or health. We had savings and family support to help us weather the storm.
I acknowledge that the challenges faced by middle-class mothers are valid. I deserve to voice my feelings of fatigue and isolation. But I also approach these desires with humility, recognizing my position of privilege as a white, educated woman.
A Common Wish
At the end of the day, all mothers—regardless of their background—share a common wish: for their children to be healthy and happy. Our hearts carry the weight of those desires, as we navigate the complexities of motherhood.
So, on this Mother’s Day, I wish every mother less worry and strife. I hope for moments of peace where you can rest your weary body. May your children shower you with affection and small tokens of appreciation. I want you to experience abundance, not just today, but every day.
Yet, I yearn for more. I long for a kinder, more compassionate America. We shouldn’t have to wait for paid maternity leave, universal healthcare, better medical care for mothers and infants, or improved access to nutritious food programs for low-income families.
Mothers aren’t waiting; they can’t afford to. They tirelessly give their all, even when they feel inadequate. They embody resilience, and their children see them as the incredible beings they are. However, love and respect mean little when basic needs are unmet, especially for mothers facing poverty.
In Conclusion
This Sunday, as I celebrate the strength and love of mothers across the country, I will also mourn for those who struggle. I will brainstorm ways—however small—to contribute to change and advocate for better support for all mothers.
If you’re curious about more resources regarding fertility treatments and home insemination, check out this excellent guide on thinking about fertility treatment. For couples on a fertility journey, Make A Mom provides valuable insights. And, if you would like to connect further, feel free to reach out through this link.
Summary
As we celebrate Mother’s Day, it is essential to recognize the struggles many mothers face in America, particularly those living in poverty. Although I am grateful for the privileges I have, I cannot ignore the plight of mothers and children who are not as fortunate. We all desire a kinder, more supportive society that ensures every child has the opportunity for a healthy, happy life.