Updated: April 22, 2021
Originally Published: May 8, 2016
Today marked our first truly beautiful spring day, and I took my 3-year-old, Liam, to the park. He sprinted around, his tousled light blonde hair dancing in the breeze. He jumped from step to step, climbed up the slide, bumped into other children, and tumbled into my waiting arms. Meanwhile, I was on my phone, snapping photos—about 50 of them, to be exact. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I needed to capture every moment.
Liam, at 3 years, 6 months, and 5 days old, was just the right age. His hair was perfectly tousled, with that one stubborn strand that always fell over his eyes. He wore that little blue sweater—hand-me-down from his brother—that was already getting snug, with his long green shirt peeking out beneath it. I loved the way he twirled around, checking for me every minute, those vibrant blue-green eyes wide with curiosity, always searching.
For our children, time seems to stretch endlessly. They live in the present, where each day feels like an eternity. As parents, we often feel the drag of time, especially during challenging moments. Yet, we are also painfully aware of how rapidly our children are growing up right before our eyes. This paradox drove me to photograph Liam, to preserve these fleeting moments as I witnessed them slip away.
Not every outing results in such a flurry of photos, but I do find myself taking countless pictures of my kids, especially during our adventures. I sometimes wonder about the cost of this habit. Am I truly experiencing each moment, or am I merely a spectator behind the lens?
My father was a professional photographer who loved capturing my sister and me throughout our childhood. I remember posing for him in front of towering Redwoods, at amusement parks, and even at the beach. Even when I wasn’t posing, he was there, camera in hand, capturing our everyday moments, which he claimed were his favorite.
At times, it felt overwhelming—like being under a magnifying glass. Still, I felt loved and valued. My dad would pause to engage with me, playing and listening, which made the experience feel less like a chore. Now, I cherish the beautiful photos he took; they document the essence of my childhood, preserving those transient moments.
In today’s digital world, it seems everyone is glued to their devices, recording every aspect of their lives. Is my compulsion to document my children’s lives problematic? I’m not entirely convinced. I like to believe I can strike a balance between my passion for photography and being present during these precious moments.
As our morning at the playground wound down, Liam wanted me to run after him. I felt liberated, chasing him without my phone, feeling the wind in my hair. I was simply there, enjoying the experience. Yet, when we paused to share a water bottle, the urge to capture his laughter and adorable chatter crept in. I didn’t want to forget a single detail, even though I knew it would vanish in an instant.
After a solid 20 minutes of putting the camera down, I finally pulled out my phone for one last shot of him nestled in his stroller, munching on peanuts and crackers. I thought to myself: Maybe today, I’ll embrace my slightly obsessive side.
After all, my children are my greatest joy, and it’s natural for moms to get a little carried away sometimes. I believe that one day, they’ll appreciate all the snapshots I’ve taken, showcasing the beauty in their every gesture and preserving the ordinary yet extraordinary moments of their childhoods.
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In summary, while my penchant for photographing my children may seem excessive, it stems from a desire to capture the beauty and transience of their childhood. Balancing this hobby with being present in the moment is key, and I hope that, in time, my children will cherish these memories as much as I do.