Mornings in my household can be quite a challenge. With three daughters ranging from preschool to high school, there’s a constant race to get breakfast on the table, pack lunches, locate matching socks, and gather homework—all while trying to squeeze in a cheerful “good morning.” Add in the complexities of a teenage mood swing and the pressures of an impending exam, and even my most benign comments can trigger an emotional outburst from my eldest daughter, Ava.
“Your ride arrives in about five minutes,” I call out, attempting to keep my voice steady despite the growing chaos.
“Don’t you think I know what time it is?” she snaps from the hallway. While slicing apples at the kitchen counter, I feel my frustration rise. Three minutes later, she rushes in, hastily preparing her lunch, grabbing the bagel and cream cheese I made, without a word of thanks or even a goodbye hug.
Suppressing my annoyance, I manage a stiff “Okay, bye then.” She turns, giving me a dismissive smirk. Not the ideal start to our day, and it turns out, she feels the same way.
At 10:37 a.m., right in the middle of her third-period class, I receive a text: sry mom.
I’m relieved that Ava reached out after our rocky morning, even if it means she’s bending school rules by texting me during class. My curiosity piques—how is she managing to do this? Is her phone hidden beneath her desk? I choose not to dwell on that and focus instead on the opportunity for connection.
I text back: Me too. Everything okay?
Seconds pass as I see her typing. Soon, she opens up about her feelings and what’s bothering her, which isn’t just my morning reminders. I respond with empathy, acknowledging her emotions and offering the understanding I failed to express earlier. We agree to discuss it further when she gets home, signing off with a kiss emoji from me and her Bitmoji giving a thumbs-up. While the issue isn’t completely resolved, at least we’ve started a conversation.
Texting becomes a bridge that allows us to connect more effectively than face-to-face interactions, which can be fraught with the tension of body language and unspoken judgments. For those of us in our 40s, navigating digital communication can be both a blessing and a distraction. However, for our teenagers, this is their primary mode of communication—whether it’s through texting, Snapchat, or Instagram. Ignoring this reality would be a missed opportunity to engage with them.
As a parent, I’ve noticed that traditional methods of communication often fall flat with my teen. While we still manage to have heart-to-heart conversations occasionally, they are becoming less frequent. Ava’s peers are increasingly her focus, making me feel like a relic of her childhood. Yet, that doesn’t mean I’m willing to let silence creep in between us. Texting allows for a new avenue of connection, even if it means bending the rules now and then.
My well-meaning reminder about time this morning inadvertently communicated that I don’t trust her independence. In turn, Ava’s reaction stung, but our texting facilitated a space for both of us to express ourselves thoughtfully, paving the way for a more constructive face-to-face dialogue later. Fostering a trusting and honest relationship with my daughter during her teenage years is vital to me, and sometimes that means embracing unconventional methods of communication.
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In summary, while mornings may start off rocky, the digital world allows my daughter and me to connect meaningfully. Texting has become a vital communication tool that fosters understanding and nurtures our relationship, even amidst the challenges of adolescence.