I’ve reached a point in my life where I can observe the ongoing debates around parenting, rather than being fully immersed in them. In a voice reminiscent of a wise elder Back when my children were small, the internet was just beginning to blossom, and I was still figuring out my first email address. At that time, blogs and parenting websites were not yet a thing, and phrases like “selfie,” “viral,” and “followers” were practically unheard of.
I raised my kids using methods that suited both them and me. I found ways to help them sleep that worked for our family. I disciplined (or chose not to) based on what felt right at the moment. Sure, I had my fair share of mom groups—playgroups, breastfeeding support, and those informal gatherings at parks. Yes, I faced judgment and, I admit, I judged others too.
However, we didn’t have the overwhelming presence of social media scrutinizing our every move. There were no Facebook friends critiquing our parenting choices as they scrolled through their feeds. An innocent snapshot of our child didn’t have the potential to provoke an online uproar.
As cliché as it may sound, those days were less complicated. But with the passage of time comes wisdom, and I’d like to share some insights with the current generation of mothers: It’s challenging, I know. The pressures are immense, coming from more directions than you might realize. But let me reveal a little secret: in just a few years, the spotlight will shift away from you to the next wave of new parents. You’ll find yourself with older children who are more independent, and the constant prying into your personal life will diminish (unless you have a curious pet, in which case, expect a different kind of scrutiny).
I spend a lot of time around young adults now—three of whom are my own children. They’ve grown to be capable individuals; one can even legally purchase alcohol! They handle their own chores, drive cars without “Little Tikes” stickers, and, thankfully, can take care of their personal hygiene. Instead of viewing them through the lens of their early years, I now see well-rounded young adults.
When I observe groups of kids today, their early upbringing isn’t as easily identifiable as it once was. There are no telltale signs like diapers or bottles. Instead, I see fully developed individuals. I can’t tell who was breastfed or who had formula. The differences that stand out now are rooted in manners, respect, and work ethic. You can spot the kids who were taught the importance of saying “please” and “thank you,” the ones who learned to clean up after themselves, and those who understand the value of hard work.
Conversely, it’s also clear which children may not have received that guidance. Social interactions reveal a lot about their upbringing. I’ve witnessed kids from humble backgrounds excel academically while some from seemingly perfect homes face serious challenges.
This observation extends beyond my personal experiences. In public spaces, like grocery stores, the contrast between polite and rude behavior is stark. Colleagues who go the extra mile to keep shared spaces tidy stand out against those who leave a mess.
Ultimately, what I’m trying to convey is that parenting is a tough journey. Mistakes will happen, and the impact of your efforts will be multifaceted. In the grand scheme of things, what you do now will resonate, and at times, it won’t. I know, it sounds confusing, welcome to parenthood! The best approach is to focus on doing your best. Ignore the critics, dismiss the judgment, and silence that nagging self-doubt. Remember, in the future, your children will engage with a world that often critiques from behind a screen. Your mission is to prepare them to navigate it with kindness and strength.
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Summary
Parenting can be overwhelming, especially with the constant scrutiny from social media. While the past may have seemed simpler, the challenges remain. Focus on what truly matters: raising kind, respectful individuals who can navigate a complex world. Ignore the naysayers, trust your instincts, and know that your efforts will shape your children’s futures.