Parenting
Guadalupe “Lupe” Rodriguez arrived in New York City from the Dominican Republic at just 15 years old, right as the 1960s were beginning to unfold. Her father, a stylish tailor, was a dissident fleeing a brutal regime. While the promise of safety in their new home was a relief, it couldn’t erase the memories of the violent civil unrest that had shaped her early years. My mother witnessed horrors that no child should endure, and she was resolute: this new country would offer a fresh start—not just for her, but for her children as well.
Raising me as a Latina Tiger Mom was no easy feat. It’s fair to say that my mother’s fierce determination often led to some spirited clashes between us. I’ll never forget her saying to me in her thick accent, “I could never break you.” I took it as a high compliment, though her formal education ended with a G.E.D. in her 30s. Lupe was truly a visionary, preparing her children to “suck the marrow out of life.”
A decade after she lost her battle with colon cancer, I’m still at work on a book that captures her essence and wisdom. Until it’s complete, here’s a glimpse into some of the sage advice she imparted, a heartfelt “Gracias” to this unstoppable force:
- “Are you an ‘A’ or are you a ‘B’?”
Report card days were serious business; anything less than an “A” was unacceptable. If I ever brought home a “B,” my mom would playfully declare, “If ju think ju are a B, be a B. If ju think ju are an A, be an A.” This was her way of instilling the importance of self-belief and personal agency—the very foundation of success.
- “Was there a gun to your head?!”
Her father had faced unspeakable horrors before reaching the U.S., and she often reminded me of this when I complained. Her point? We always have choices, even when we think we don’t. Recognizing this empowers us to take control of our own lives.
- “White people do not have a monopoly on speaking well.”
Moving from Harlem to a predominantly white area in New Hampshire was tough. My mom’s advice was about transcending the low expectations often placed on minorities. She taught me that our worth isn’t defined by where we come from, but by our ambition and drive.
- “There is no competition. You are your only competition.”
Lupe hated envy—especially when it showed up in me. “Don’t look over your shoulder; focus on your own journey,” she would say. She believed that making comparisons was pointless. Instead, I learned to keep my head down and work hard.
- “Everything is temporary.”
My mother, impatient as ever, would remind me that time is a healer. “You think I got here in one day?!” she would chuckle. Her wisdom helped me understand that tough times don’t last forever.
- “So what. You scrub toilets.”
Lupe believed in the dignity of all work. She taught us that no task is beneath us, and every job has its value. Even if times were tough, we shouldn’t feel above doing anything.
- “You never know who will be your boss someday.”
As I started my first job, she advised me to treat everyone with respect. From the janitor to the CEO, everyone deserves kindness, because you never know how the world might turn.
- “You never know who is going to see you.”
While I may not be all about makeup, I come from a lineage of women who never left the house looking less than their best. My mom taught me that presentation matters, especially for women of color facing bias.
- “They can take everything from you, but they cannot take your education.”
Lupe firmly believed that education is a lifelong asset. It’s something no one could take away from you, and while it doesn’t guarantee a job, it is invaluable.
- “You want to know what happens when you do that?”
Her stories, often filled with a mix of horror and humor, taught me the fragility of life. They reminded me to appreciate my circumstances and never take my upbringing for granted. After all, I could have faced much worse challenges.
This wisdom still resonates with me today. If you’re on a fertility journey, you might find helpful insights about home insemination and more at this resource. And if you’re looking for quality at-home insemination kits, check out this reputable retailer. For further information on IVF and pregnancy, this site is an excellent resource.
In summary, my mother’s lessons shaped who I am today. Her wisdom, borne from resilience and determination, continues to guide me through life’s challenges.
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