Many couples choose not to co-sleep for several reasons, including concerns about rolling onto their baby, the potential to smother them with bedding, or the fear of establishing poor habits. However, one of the biggest worries is often the belief that co-sleeping will effectively end their sex life.
At first glance, this seems reasonable. The arrival of a new baby can make couples feel like they are losing their personal space, particularly when it comes to intimacy. In many cultures, there are strong taboos surrounding sexual activity near children—parents fret about waking them or causing psychological distress that could lead to years of therapy. The simple solution appears to be placing the baby in a crib and forgetting about it.
Yet, co-sleeping has numerous advantages. Studies show that mothers who share a bed with their infants often breastfeed for longer periods and can maintain a better milk supply. Additionally, both mothers and babies tend to enjoy deeper sleep, with research indicating that co-sleeping parents often get more rest than those who constantly wake to tend to a crib. While there are safety guidelines to follow when co-sleeping, they are manageable and can yield significant benefits for both parents and children.
But what about intimacy?
Contrary to popular belief, co-sleeping parents do have sex. In fact, they may engage in sexual activity more frequently due to the relaxed atmosphere that co-sleeping can provide. Here are some creative places and methods co-sleeping parents use to maintain their intimacy:
- The Bed: If the baby has a separate sleeping surface, like a co-sleeper, you can still enjoy intimacy in your bed. Use a safe partition to create some privacy.
- The Bedroom Floor: If you’re concerned about disturbing the baby, the floor can be a safe alternative. It’s surprisingly versatile for various positions.
- The Bathroom: Whether you have a master bath or a small one, the bathroom can be a private space. Just remember to lock the door!
- The Shower: This requires a bit of balance and creativity, but it can be exhilarating. Just be cautious of slipping!
- The Living Room: With a carpet, you can lay down a blanket and enjoy some time together without worrying about your sleeping baby.
- Under the Kitchen Table: It might be cramped, but it offers a hidden space away from prying eyes.
- In the Car: If parked in a garage, the front seat can become a nostalgic venue for intimacy.
- The Attic or Basement: While they may not be the most glamorous spots, they provide seclusion and a break from the everyday routine.
Remember, co-sleepers can still find ways to be intimate without compromising their baby’s safety. Just be sure to tidy up afterward—nobody wants to explain unexpected items found in the kitchen or living areas.
For more information on navigating intimacy and parenting, you can check out this blog post, or learn more about at-home insemination kits from Make A Mom. Additionally, Mount Sinai offers excellent resources for those seeking guidance on pregnancy and co-sleeping.
In summary, co-sleeping does not have to spell the end of a couple’s intimate life. With a bit of creativity and a willingness to explore unconventional spaces, parents can still nurture their relationship while ensuring the safety of their little ones.