This is a poignant account shared by a colleague, whom I’ll refer to as Emily. At 31, she is a devoted mom, happily married, and the mother of three daughters, all aged four and younger. This narrative highlights a particularly chaotic day in her life.
“Mom, I want orange juice!”
It started like any other morning. The remnants of last night’s dinner cluttered the kitchen sink, the baby was wailing, and the toddler just managed to spill her breakfast all over the floor.
“Not again,” Emily thought, sighing inwardly as she bent down to scoop the still-warm scrambled eggs back onto a paper plate.
“Noooo!” her toddler wailed, throwing a fit. “I want thooooooose!”
Within her, a simmering tension began to build—a sensation akin to a fire igniting deep within her chest.
“Mommy, could you get me a fork?” her preschooler inquired, adding to the mounting chaos.
“Not right now. Just hold on a moment,” Emily replied, fighting the rising tide of frustration.
“Oh no, I just spilled my milk!” came the next disaster, and the flames of her irritation grew more intense.
Taking a deep breath, she attempted to center herself amidst the cacophony of demands and cries. Each whiny request felt like lighter fluid feeding a burgeoning inferno inside her.
After breakfast, it was time to get dressed. Emily suggested her toddler wear a red skirt, but what followed was a dramatic display of tears and an extended negotiation over outfit choices—a process that took an exhausting 13 minutes. The fire inside her flared higher with every passing moment.
Eventually, she reached a breaking point. She couldn’t engage with the clothing debate any longer. Silently, she walked away, leaving her daughter crying behind her.
Next, Emily faced her preschooler, who had sensory sensitivities and dreaded hair brushing—a morning ritual that always ended in tears. As her daughter cried, Emily felt the molten frustration bubbling within her.
“I need to escape,” she thought. “Before I lose it.”
She placed the baby in her crib and retreated to her room, shutting the door behind her. Looking in the mirror, she realized it was only 10 a.m., and she hadn’t even brushed her teeth or had breakfast since waking up.
Just as she sat down to gather herself, there was a knock on the door.
“Mommyyyyyyyyyy!” her preschooler cried, bursting in with tears over a broken toy. Still sitting there, Emily hurriedly fixed it for her, but then asked her to leave. Her tone was sharper than intended, signaling a shift within her.
As her daughter stepped out, the fire within Emily roared to life.
“Mom, it broke again!”
“I can’t fix it anymore. Please go,” she snapped, feeling the heat rise in her voice.
“Get out now!” she finally shouted, unable to contain the rage any longer.
The explosion of emotions came forth—frustrations over spilled milk, broken toys, and the relentless demands of motherhood surged out in an uncontrollable torrent. Each word fired off like a rapid succession of bullets, aimed at a target that was her own child—the same girl she had nurtured and cherished.
In a moment of sheer desperation, Emily hurled the broken toy across the room and flung her 4-year-old onto her bed. “Stay in your bed and don’t get up!” she commanded, her heart racing with guilt.
She then picked up her 2-year-old and did the same. Trembling, she retreated to her room, collapsing onto the floor as tears streamed down her face. She felt lost and overwhelmed, unable to hear anything else in the chaos surrounding her.
After a few moments, she managed to type a message to her husband, “Things are bad. I need you to come home.”
In the days that followed, Emily sought help. She reached out to her midwife and therapist and asked her husband to be present more often. After being prescribed medication, she experienced an initial wave of sadness but eventually began to feel better.
Reflecting on that fateful day, Emily confided, “What I did was not okay. It was terrifying. When you’re filled with rage, it’s hard to control. I understand how some moms can reach a breaking point.”
To this day, she grapples with the underlying factors contributing to her feelings—whether hormones, anxiety, or something else. Mothering three young children can be a demanding task that sometimes feels insurmountable.
As a close friend of Emily’s, I can attest to her gentle demeanor. She appears calm and collected, yet like many mothers, she experiences hidden struggles. The fire within can ignite unexpectedly, and it’s crucial to recognize this and seek support when needed.
You’re not alone in feeling this way. If you ever find yourself in a similar situation, remember to stop and take it seriously. Reach out for help.
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Summary:
Emily’s story illustrates the intense challenges faced by mothers, particularly those with multiple young children. As she navigated a chaotic morning, mounting frustrations led to an emotional explosion, highlighting the importance of recognizing when to seek help. This narrative serves as a reminder that feelings of overwhelm are common and that support is essential for mental well-being in parenting.