As a pediatrician and a mom, I can relate to the overwhelming feelings that come with parenting. You might think I’m being dramatic, but let me tell you, some days it’s really tough. I adore my son, but there are moments when I wish I could take a break from being a mom. That’s the reality of my situation, and I know I’m not alone in this struggle.
Recently, my son has been transitioning away from his afternoon naps, and I’m absolutely not ready for this change. Those precious two to three hours of quiet time are crucial for me to recharge. When he skips his nap, my mood takes a nosedive. My husband can attest to this! Unfortunately, my son has been napping only sporadically, usually on the days when our nanny is present. Go figure! On the days he doesn’t nap, we have “quiet time,” which means he stays in his room, whether he sleeps or not. However, instead of resting, he often finds ways to create chaos.
Yesterday was one of those challenging afternoons. When I entered his room after what was supposed to be a quiet time, I discovered he was completely undressed from the waist down. I had seen this on the monitor but was not prepared for what he exclaimed upon my arrival: “Mommy, I pooped on the floor! I pooped over there and there and there. And I peed right there!” My heart dropped. There he was, trying to clean up his mess with wipes, mimicking what we do for our dog when there’s an accident. How cute, right? But, honestly, I was just trying to keep it together.
We’re in the middle of potty training, and he has a habit of timing his poops for when he’s asleep, so this was a new level of chaos for us. I instructed him to sit down on a chair, but then realized that would be a mistake since his bottom was covered in a mess. After a bit of negotiation, I got him on the changing table where I cleaned him up and dressed him again.
Then, the cleaning began. It felt like a nightmarish loop; as soon as I would pick up one piece of mess, another would appear. I changed the sheets, tossed everything into the wash, and pulled out the carpet cleaner, moving like a zombie through the motions. I managed to keep my composure despite feeling like I was on the brink of a breakdown. When he asked if I was happy, I told him the truth—I was very sad about what had happened and explained that we only use the potty or a diaper. He seemed to understand and promised he wouldn’t repeat it.
Finally, I plopped onto the couch, allowing Daniel Tiger to entertain him while I tried to regain my mental stability. The aftermath left me feeling traumatized, so I reached out to a mom friend to vent. She reassured me that my feelings were valid and that it’s normal to feel overwhelmed. Thank goodness for friends who remind you that you’re not alone in this!
As I sat there, it felt like an eternity waiting for my husband to come home. Toys were strewn across the floor, creating a disaster zone. I felt like I was reliving my struggles with postpartum depression, wondering if it could come back even after two years. I might need to check in with my therapist.
When my husband arrived, he jumped right into cleaning up the mess. He knew that tackling the family room chaos would lift my spirits. After a heartwarming talk with our son, he whisked us away for pizza and wine, and by the time we returned home, I was feeling much better. We were laughing and playing again, and I realized that not every mom would react the same way to such incidents. But I’m not going to apologize for who I am.
It’s all part of the package of being a parent. I signed up for this journey and, while it can be tough, I know it’s a part of my growth as a mother. Not every day will be easy, and that’s okay. The struggle is real, and I embrace that struggle as part of my daily life.
For more insights into parenting and home insemination, check out this article on how to prepare for artificial insemination, which can be a helpful resource for those considering their family planning options. Additionally, the information at UCSF’s fertility treatment page is an excellent resource for those looking to understand more about fertility and pregnancy.
Summary
Parenting can be a rollercoaster, filled with moments of joy and unexpected chaos. A recent incident involving my son taught me the importance of maintaining composure and reaching out to friends for support. Each day as a mom comes with its own challenges, and while I may feel overwhelmed at times, it’s all part of the journey of motherhood.