One of our preferred outdoor spots meanders through wetlands and historical earthworks. The towering mounds of soil that twist through the marsh make me uneasy. In this region, staying silent is not an option. “These hills were created by enslaved people,” I explain gently to my young child. “They were forced to work the land, often at the cost of their lives due to starvation and illnesses like malaria and yellow fever, which are transmitted by mosquitoes.” My child instinctively scratches his legs. “A man who is white directed them,” I add, hoping to clarify.
Alternatively, we could visit the state capitol—constructed with the sweat and labor of enslaved individuals. Statues line its grounds, including one honoring a notorious figure in gynecology. He earned that recognition by performing surgeries on enslaved women without their consent. Other statues celebrate segregationists and slave owners. I usually avoid bringing my children to the statehouse, but they did visit during the protests over the Confederate flag. We stood firm, advocating for change, while others screamed “History, not hate” at us, waving flags steeped in a legacy of oppression.
“That flag represents slavery,” I tell my son. “It symbolizes a fight to maintain slavery.” He often recoils at the mention of slavery, covering his ears and pleading for me to stop. He is unaware that he has ancestors who fought for the Confederacy, a truth I will reveal when he’s ready.
As a white mother, I navigate these discussions with care. It’s essential for my children to have friends from diverse backgrounds and to read literature that reflects a variety of cultures. I find myself monitoring their language closely.
Recently, we talked about children in my 4-year-old’s preschool class. One child, he noted, had curly hair. “I call him ‘furry head,’” he said casually. I nearly choked on my drink. “We can’t refer to him that way,” I explained. “That implies he’s less than human.” My son shrugged, unconcerned. Still, I imagined the hurt it could cause. We then visited the library, selecting books from authors like bell hooks and Dinah Johnson, and embarked on a journey to understand and appreciate diverse hairstyles. In our community, my sons must learn to uplift, not diminish.
Racial Dynamics and Religious Identity
Racial dynamics are not the only sensitive issue. As Catholics in a predominantly different religious environment, we often find ourselves in the minority. Misunderstandings about our faith abound, and as homeschoolers, we must be vigilant. Some families may assume we’re on a path to damnation and attempt to convert my children. I’ve encountered curriculum that promotes absurd beliefs, such as the notion that Asian individuals are inbred or that fossils represent deceit. We have to tread carefully both in conversations about our collection of ancient shark teeth and in choosing playmates.
Even a secular homeschooling group I joined had a lesson that referred to Black individuals as “Negros.” Thankfully, we missed that class, sparing me the need to confront it directly. Part of challenging racism involves speaking up, but it’s often uncomfortable. It feels like a constant battle here in South Carolina, where I have to be prepared for anything.
Conservative Environment
Our community is known for its strong Conservative leanings. Just the other day, I was cut off by a car displaying a Donald Trump bumper sticker. When my son asked about Trump, I had to explain his controversial politics and why they are problematic. Now, my son proudly states his admiration for Bernie Sanders and the idea of free healthcare, but I refrained from disclosing how many people support Trump—some things are simply too heavy for a child to bear.
There are many subtle indicators of the local Conservatism. Country clubs abound, filled with families who have the “right” last names. Little girls sport Lilly Pulitzer outfits, while parks bustle with nannies, often of different ethnic backgrounds than their charges. Our local sheriff has spent taxpayer money on military-grade equipment, fearing potential uprisings. When discussing Hispanic communities, people often veer into rants about immigration. Our favorite local stores frequently close due to raids.
As people learn about our interests in fossils and our political views, I often notice them distancing themselves or seeking out other parents for conversation. When I expressed my concern about the “Negro” incident, I was met with bewilderment. “Perhaps she wanted to preserve history,” one mother suggested. My sons, dressed in their casual attire that lacks the local dress code’s monogrammed shirts, often attract scrutiny. I no longer dare to wear band T-shirts in public.
It’s a challenging environment characterized by racism, poverty, Conservatism, and evangelicalism. I feel compelled to shield my children from various ideas that clash with our values. Yet, we find ourselves nestled between beautiful mountains and serene beaches, with access to an outstanding children’s museum and a vibrant culture. We cherish our liberal friends, mostly connected through parenting groups and the university community. Despite the challenges, we choose to stay, to advocate for change, and to instill these values in our children.
Resources for Further Insight
For more insights on navigating parenthood within a conservative space, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination. Additionally, if you’re looking for more information on home insemination, you can visit this authority on the topic. For further engagement, you can also explore this related blog post.
Summary
Raising children in a conservative environment presents unique challenges, particularly regarding discussions of race and religion. As a white mother and a Catholic in a predominantly different community, it is essential to cultivate an understanding of diversity and advocate for inclusive values. Through careful navigation of social dynamics and a commitment to education, families can instill principles of acceptance and awareness in their children, even amidst surrounding opposition.