My husband, Ryan, and I are part of that uncommon breed of couples who generally see eye to eye on many aspects of life. We hardly ever squabble over the television remote, we present a united front in parenting, and we both agree that the movie Ishtar deserves its reputation as the worst film ever made. We cherish summer evenings by the fire pit, relish the beauty of fall, and enjoy the comfort of wool socks, the aroma of a Sunday meal simmering in the crockpot, and the intrigue of shows like House of Cards.
At social gatherings, we can share a knowing glance across the room and roll our eyes together at a particularly talkative host. We dream of retiring to the coast, and we both find ourselves in fits of laughter when a comedic mishap—like an unexpected bathroom incident in a film—occurs. Our humor aligns, and we value each other’s roles in the chaotic rhythm of our daily lives. Our relationship is rooted in compromise, mutual respect, and an unwavering love for dark chocolate.
However, the moment politics enters the conversation, everything changes.
When I first met Ryan two decades ago, my liberal mindset viewed his conservative beliefs as an opportunity to challenge him, hoping to sway him to my side of the political spectrum (notice I didn’t say “right”). Initially, we avoided discussions about politics and religion, focusing more on romance. Yet, as time passed, our differing viewpoints became impossible to ignore—wages, abortion, immigration, and healthcare were just the tip of the iceberg. Our debates over taxes, social issues, and the death penalty often turned contentious, and soon we found ourselves tiptoeing around the giant elephant in the room, realizing that neither of us was winning and both of us were beginning to look foolish.
Interestingly, at our wedding, my family sat on the left side of the church while his family occupied the right side—a literal and figurative reaching across the aisle.
In our household, election seasons resemble a lively circus. Our children often find themselves as spectators watching the back-and-forth of our political discussions at the dinner table, akin to a tense tennis match. I passionately express my views on “his candidates,” while he rolls his eyes when I go on about a certain political figure. During the 2004 presidential election, our front yard proudly displayed Kerry/Edwards and Bush/Cheney signs, leading to playful sabotage of each other’s campaigns. Our neighbors would chuckle at our antics and shake their heads as we debated loudly at parties. He still holds a grudge against me for slapping a Kerry sticker on his car.
The intensity of our debates reached new heights during the 2008 McCain/Obama race. I took pride in dressing our daughter in a pink Hillary shirt and shared a picture of her casting her vote—cheering for a woman in office. The exhilaration I felt on the day Obama was inaugurated was palpable; I couldn’t resist rubbing it in his face. Winning felt sweet, and I relished the moment.
Yet, despite our political disagreements and passionate debates, I wouldn’t trade my marriage to a conservative for anything. Ryan is one of the brightest individuals I know; to engage in political discourse with him requires bringing my top game. His conservative perspective sharpens my arguments and keeps me informed about liberal politics. I thrive on our spirited exchanges, especially when I see a glimmer of admiration in his raised eyebrow. I’m a formidable opponent, and he’s met his match.
In fact, I believe our political discussions have led us to greater compromise in other aspects of our marriage. By listening to one another with respect, we’ve developed a mutual admiration for each other’s insights. I appreciate being married to someone who has thoughtfully considered his convictions, even when they differ from mine.
We may be an odd couple politically, but somehow, it works.
This election cycle has brought its challenges, intensifying my frustrations with the Republican Party while Ryan struggles to endure debates with me. Our arguments are heated, and our children are gaining a comprehensive education from both sides of the political spectrum. They are learning how to formulate informed opinions and understanding the electoral process as we keep score of our candidates.
Recently, I inquired about his voting intentions, and he smirked, replying, “I’m not sure yet, but definitely not Trump.”
Now, that’s a point we can agree on. There might still be hope for him yet. For more insights into family dynamics during political seasons, you can check out this post here.
For a deeper dive into topics surrounding pregnancy and home insemination, I recommend you visit this excellent resource. If you’re exploring self-insemination options, this kit offers valuable guidance.
Summary
Despite being politically divided, Dr. Emily Hargrove and her husband Ryan maintain a strong marriage built on shared interests and mutual respect. Their spirited political debates have fostered compromise and deeper understanding, creating an engaging environment for their children to learn about differing viewpoints.