In recent years, the conversation around breastfeeding in public has gained considerable attention. People generally hold one of three viewpoints: 1) Only breastfeed in private; 2) Breastfeed in public but cover up; or 3) Breastfeed anywhere, anytime. As a member of society, I align with that third perspective. Still, as a breastfeeding mother, I often find myself gravitating towards the first approach.
I’m not ashamed of my choice to breastfeed, but my priority is to nourish my baby without exposing my body in ways that make me uncomfortable. After years of societal norms teaching me to keep my body covered, it feels counterintuitive to suddenly display it openly. I want to avoid the judgment that often comes with breastfeeding in public; I survived enough body shaming as a teenager.
While volunteering at my daughter’s school fundraiser, I frequently took breaks to nurse my infant in the car. I didn’t feel comfortable nursing in front of my daughter’s friends and their parents—not due to any negativity from them, but simply because of my own preferences. I believe that breastfeeding in public inevitably attracts unwanted attention. I’d rather not be the center of curiosity or judgment.
In my mind, breastfeeding is a private act between my child and me. I yearn for a society that is more accepting of breastfeeding, but I’m not prepared to be an activist challenging societal norms. My main focus is the bond I share with my baby during this fleeting stage of infancy. I want to keep our nursing moments private, especially since any infant with the use of their arms can easily pull away any cover I might use. In fact, I’ve even thought about knitting a “breast coozy” to keep myself warm, but I doubt it would satisfy those who feel the need to judge.
I can hear activists urging me not to hide and to normalize breastfeeding everywhere. Part of me wishes to embody that spirit, yet I still find myself ensuring that I feed my baby before we head out to dinner. When I see him getting restless at the restaurant, I scan the room for potential disapproving glances. I’ve seen videos online that depict the harsh realities of public breastfeeding, and it makes me wish we could simply retreat to a more private space. Luckily, when I return from the car with my nursing pillow, my baby has fallen asleep, and I breathe a sigh of relief.
Do I think our society has over-sexualized breasts? It’s a challenging question. My breasts serve dual purposes; they are sexual organs but also designed to nourish my child. This duality creates an ongoing debate about their role. One of my favorite depictions of breastfeeding is a statue of the Virgin Mary nursing baby Jesus at a shrine in St. Augustine, Florida. If such an innocent figure can be honored for breastfeeding, why is it considered offensive in public today? Is it that the image of a baby nursing contradicts our societal understanding of breasts?
When I witness another woman breastfeeding in public, I feel a sense of admiration and comfort. I want to approach her, perhaps to express my appreciation for her courage. I even take breastfeeding selfies (#brelfies) to celebrate these intimate moments, though I tend to share them only with close friends.
In conclusion, I am the mother who often seeks a quiet space—like a dressing room at the mall or my car—to breastfeed. Until society becomes more accepting, I prefer not to turn my nursing sessions into a public spectacle. However, I appreciate the efforts of those who are bravely advocating for breastfeeding normalization.
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