Parenting
The New Mom Freedom Card
Updated: April 11, 2023
When my first child arrived, I anxiously longed to reclaim my former self. Unacquainted with the realities of new motherhood, I felt an urgent need to return to “normal”—whatever that meant—as quickly as possible. However, it soon became clear that the old me might not return for quite some time (if at all), yet I was resolute in my mission to feel human again.
I squeezed into my jeans (they were tight and uncomfortable) as soon as I could, made a point to shower almost daily, and even put on makeup for visitors. During my son’s fleeting 23-minute naps, I diligently sat at our kitchen table, penning thank-you notes for each gift we received. But by the time I finished a handful of cards, he would wake up, and I’d be thrust back into the whirlwind of newborn care.
Frustrated yet determined, I pushed through the thank-you notes, desperately seeking some sense of normalcy and control in my chaotic new life. The irony? I found myself wishing we hadn’t received gifts at all just to escape the burden of writing thank-you notes—though I was genuinely appreciative of each one. The pressure to send timely acknowledgments weighed heavily on me, as if not doing so would brand me as inconsiderate or incapable of handling new motherhood’s demands and basic social niceties.
So I completed the thank-you notes and made a promise: henceforth, every baby gift I gave would come with a clear exemption from having to send a thank-you note. Now, whenever I send a baby gift, I include a message in the card encouraging the new mom to skip the thank-you note altogether.
Some mothers embrace this idea, while others adhere to the traditional etiquette of sending handwritten notes, which makes me ponder whether this exemption should be more widespread. Perhaps every baby gift should come with a “New Mom Freedom Card,” with a message like this:
“I hereby present you with the New Mom Freedom Card. This certificate grants the bearer guilt-free, no-questions-asked exemptions from all non-baby obligations, including but not limited to:
- Thank-you notes of any kind. A simple text saying “THX” is more than enough.
- Showering. If someone is available to watch the baby, take the longest, hottest shower you can.
- Cleaning. Let those dishes pile up and dust bunnies flourish; procrastination is your ally.
- Wearing pants or a bra. This exemption is valid for at least nine years.
- Entertaining. If visitors drop by to “meet the baby,” seize this chance to rest, read, or simply relax.
- Applying makeup or grooming (unless you feel like it).
- Shaving. Let’s face it, nothing significant is happening in that area for a while anyway.
- Cooking. One word: takeout.
- Grocery shopping. Two words: Amazon Prime.
- Anything that doesn’t involve taking care of yourself and your new baby.
In essence, let yourself off the hook. You don’t need to revert to your old self because you’ve transformed into a new person—a mother. And you’re not expected to behave like a “normal” individual for a while; you’re a superhuman.
Let’s be real: new moms are accomplishing incredible feats—feeding, diapering, soothing, and nurturing a newborn. They’re also recovering from childbirth, navigating postpartum challenges, and figuring out how to use breast pumps. Do we really need the added guilt of sending out thank-you notes for the onesie that’s already too small? The pressure to entertain guests or even engage in coherent conversations seems absurd. If someone comes by to meet the baby, they should simply leave a casserole at the door and allow the new mom to take a well-earned nap.
The New Mom Freedom Card is a gift that every new mother would treasure. In fact, it’s almost deserving of a thank-you card itself. For more insights on navigating motherhood, check out this post on our blog. You can also find excellent resources on pregnancy and home insemination at the World Health Organization’s website. And if you’re interested in exploring home insemination options, consider visiting Make a Mom for more information about their artificial insemination kits.
Summary:
The New Mom Freedom Card is a humorous yet heartfelt acknowledgment of the challenges faced by new mothers. It encourages them to let go of societal expectations, offering a guilt-free pass on tasks like thank-you notes, cleaning, and even grooming. New moms should prioritize their well-being and the care of their newborns, embracing their new identity without the pressure to maintain previous standards.