When my partner and I relocated to Japan for her academic career, I took on the role of stay-at-home dad. I imagined my duties would involve lounging around while binge-watching TV shows with a baby in my arms, but I quickly discovered that being the primary caregiver is far from a cakewalk. Here are some insightful lessons I’ve learned during my time in this role.
1. A Newfound Respect for Past Generations
Parenting today is undeniably challenging, but it pales in comparison to what parents faced decades ago. I have a newfound admiration for mothers from the past who managed to juggle home life with grace and style. While I’m often in sweatpants, they maintained impeccable appearances, and I can’t help but wonder how they managed dinner prep without the convenience of modern appliances. The sheer effort that went into daily meals is mind-boggling.
2. Beware of ‘Free Baby Clothes’ After Month Eight
When you announce your pregnancy, friends and family often offer baby clothes, and it’s tempting to accept. However, it soon becomes apparent that these generous gifts come with strings attached. Many parents are simply looking to declutter their homes. Those adorable outfits are only worn for a fleeting moment before they’re outgrown, leaving you with piles of clothes that serve as a reminder of your child’s rapid growth. So, my advice? Be selective about those hand-me-downs or risk becoming the next victim of this baby clothing trap.
3. The Unexpected Physical Toll of Parenting
My baby now weighs over 20 pounds, and I never anticipated the physical strain this would place on my body. Despite being an avid runner and triathlete, nothing could prepare me for the daily workout of carrying a squirming child who seems determined to leap into danger at every opportunity. Being a stay-at-home dad often feels like an endless circuit of lifting and bending, which no amount of fitness training can truly replicate.
4. The Truth About Diapers
Even the most honest individuals can resort to deception when it comes to diaper duty. My partner, who usually stands firm on ethical matters, suddenly finds herself making excuses to avoid the mess that comes with diaper changes. The moment solids enter the equation, the game changes drastically, and diaper changes become a battle of endurance. Let’s be honest, if I could find an easy way out too, I would.
5. The Myth of the Changing Table
If you’re considering purchasing a changing table, think again. We bought one, thinking it would be a staple in our nursery, but it quickly became useless as soon as our baby learned to roll over. What was once a functional piece of furniture turned into a mere shelf for baby supplies. Save your money and consider alternatives instead.
6. The Infuriating Design of Onesies
Whoever designed onesies with snaps clearly had a vendetta against parents. The frustration of struggling with snaps while a baby wiggles uncontrollably is indescribable. My advice? Stick with zippers. If someone warns you about the potential for pinching, they’re likely in cahoots with the snap industry, so you might want to reconsider that friendship.
7. The Joys of Being a Stay-at-Home Parent
Despite the exhaustion and occasional desire to escape to a far-off land, being a stay-at-home dad is an incredibly rewarding experience. I’ve been present for all the milestones: the first crawl, first steps, and even the first word. It’s a unique privilege that fills my heart with joy and laughter, even if I frequently find myself overwhelmed by the chaos. And yes, I have some baby clothes to spare for any expecting parents out there!
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In summary, being a stay-at-home dad is a complex journey filled with challenges and rewards. The lessons learned are invaluable, and while it may be exhausting, the experience is one I wouldn’t trade for anything.