Dear Little One,
Today, I shared the news of your impending arrival. With a heartwarming photo capturing your dad, me, and your cheerful big brother, we revealed our little secret to the world—a secret that’s just the size of a blueberry, at seven weeks, perhaps a touch early for some.
Yes, we are expecting! A new addition to our family is on the way.
Some of my friends thought I was rushing things. “It’s so soon,” they cautioned. Their worry stems from the uncertainty that can shadow these early stages of your life. Statistically, the odds can feel daunting. I could be celebrating your existence today and facing the heartache of loss tomorrow. The reality of miscarriage is something I cannot ignore.
For weeks, I allowed the fear of losing you to infiltrate my heart. It silenced the joy that should accompany this much-anticipated pregnancy. I let that anxiety extinguish the spark of excitement I felt for you, spending sleepless nights as if waiting for a monster lurking beneath my bed. I experienced nausea, but dismissed it as merely a figment of my imagination. Food aversions washed over me, and I convinced myself it was just my mind playing tricks.
I was terrified to fully embrace the reality of you, fearing that doing so would invite loss.
I have witnessed too many losses—friends and family who have traversed the highs of pregnancy and the depths of sorrow that come with loss. It felt safer to suppress my hope for you than to endure that kind of pain.
Consequently, the fear overshadowed everything. I halted discussions about names, paused plans for nursery decor, and stopped envisioning how my older child would embrace his role as a “big brother.”
This fear of loss was making you fade from my reality.
Then came that fateful Friday when I finally heard your heartbeat. Just a few rhythmic thumps, and I was utterly captivated.
Yes, I realize it’s still early. Yes, I acknowledge the fear. But it no longer matters. You are here, and I am ready to celebrate every moment of your existence.
Don’t be concerned about those friends who worry it’s too soon; they care for me—and they care for you, too. Their concern is rooted in love.
I’m tired of dwelling in that state of apprehension. All that fear was pushing you away—from my dreams, my joy, my hopes, and my plans.
What a loss that would have been.
Today, I choose to celebrate your life—tomorrow and every day thereafter. I want to honor the miracle that is you for as long as your heart beats. Your presence is a cherished gift that has been longed for.
And I will celebrate this gift for as long as I can. For more insights on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource. If you are interested in the tools for the journey, visit Cryobaby’s home insemination kits for quality products. For more discussions around this topic, see our post at Home Insemination Kit.
Summary
The journey of pregnancy is often accompanied by fear and anxiety, particularly in the early weeks. Many expectant parents grapple with the reality of miscarriage and the emotional toll it can take. However, embracing the joy of the present moment and celebrating the miracle of life can help overcome this fear.