You may have heard the common advice: “Sleep when the baby sleeps.” Maybe not, considering you’re only four months old. But trust me, as your doctor, I can assure you this is a widely shared tip.
Now, about that 32-minute “nap” you’ve been trying to pass off—it’s not quite conducive to my own rest. I’m not one of those lucky individuals who can simply close her eyes and drift off instantly; your dad has that talent. Instead, I find myself spending about 31 minutes contemplating tomorrow’s meals, how to remove that pesky permanent marker from your sibling, and reflecting on my past college experiences. That leaves me with just a minute to rest before you wake up again.
Honestly, forget the idea of sleep. When you finally doze off, there’s a whole list of things I need to get done. Letting the dog outside, grabbing a quick shower, and sanitizing your toys or any surface that has come in contact with your spit-up are just the beginning. I need to eat something more substantial than cheese slices and tackle the mountain of laundry that seems to be multiplying on our bed. Could you possibly give me a solid 90 minutes? Even an hour would be a dream!
I understand that every baby is their own unique little person, but your sibling could nap for two hours anywhere, anytime. When we decided to have a second child, we thought, “This will be manageable!” Oh, how naïve we were. Apparently, there’s a limit to how many well-sleeping children one parent can have, and we have hit that threshold.
When those dark circles began to form under my eyes, many well-meaning folks hinted that I was doing something wrong. “He should be on a schedule by now,” they said. “Just make him sleep!” Ah, yes, why didn’t I think of that? I desperately sought ways to extend your naps.
I read about white noise, which led to a loud fan in your nursery and an app mimicking airplane sounds. I then experimented with silence, only to find you awakened by the garbage truck or the gentle purring of a cat outside. You ended up sleeping for a mere 20 minutes instead of the hoped-for 32.
I also learned that you might sleep better if I held you close while you dozed. But alas, it turned out you only needed 32 minutes of that too. I read about motion, so I strapped you into your car seat and drove aimlessly, but when you woke up, we were just 32 minutes away from home.
Timing is crucial, they say. I’ve scrutinized your eyelids to catch that precise moment they start to droop. The advice is relentless: “Don’t put him down too early,” they say. “Don’t let him get overtired.” Unfortunately, I still can’t decode your unique “wakefulness window,” but I can predict exactly when your droopy eyes will pop open again. I’d put money on it every time.
Look, I know being a baby is challenging. Your cozy womb has disappeared, you can’t control your head, and teething is no picnic. I’ve got your back, but I need more than a 32-minute break to regain the energy to truly empathize with your struggles.
So until then, I’ll be the one at the grocery store, rocking your stroller fervently as we approach that crucial half-hour mark. I’ll be the one trying to avoid your gaze as you peer out from under the canopy, because once you see me, the gig is up.
And when you finally grin up at me, I’ll remind myself just how lucky I am to have such an adorable little one.
It’s a good thing you’re so irresistibly cute when you’re awake.
For more insights on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource. If you’re interested in home insemination kits, you can find more information at Make a Mom. And for more on our terms of service, please read this.
Summary
The experience of parenting an infant can be both exhausting and humorous. The struggle for longer naps, the constant research on sleep techniques, and the realization that each child is different is a shared journey among parents. Balancing responsibilities while caring for a baby is a challenge, but also filled with love and joy.