It’s 1:30 a.m. I’m 30 weeks pregnant, and sleep eludes me. My baby has been moving around so much, but I’m grateful to have achieved pregnancy on the first try, allowing me to soon meet my little one. I’ve always felt a calling to motherhood, and after a series of unsuccessful relationships, I decided to embrace the path of becoming a single mom by choice. What I didn’t anticipate were the unsolicited comments that would come my way.
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“Isn’t it selfish to decide your child won’t have a father?”
I often wonder, how many children are raised without a father due to circumstances beyond the mother’s control? While I would have preferred a more traditional family structure, today’s families come in many forms, including single-parent households. My child may not have a dad, but she will have an incredible grandfather, two amazing uncles, and a network of strong male figures in her life. When I think of the alternative, I believe that raising her on my own is a healthier option than any scenario involving my past partners. -
“I’m so sorry to hear that.”
I received this comment from a few friends and even family members, accompanied by concerned expressions. It felt as if they believed my choice was a desperate one, indicative of failure. Ironically, two of my exes reached out, echoing similar sentiments, lamenting their past treatment of me and insisting I deserved happiness. But the truth is, I am genuinely excited about this journey. This was not a change brought on by bitterness; I’ve simply found a creative solution to fulfill my dream of motherhood. -
“You do realize girls without fathers often struggle, right?”
Absolutely! My goal has always been to raise a strong, empowered young woman. Stereotypes abound, and it would be interesting to probe how many so-called “daddy issues” truly stem from the absence of a father. The key difference here is that my daughter will know she was wanted and loved from the start. I’ll teach her that while I couldn’t find the right partner, her life is filled with love from many, including a wonderful donor. She won’t miss what she doesn’t know, and she will have ample opportunities to form meaningful relationships with the significant men in her life. -
“You have no idea what’s ahead of you!”
True enough! But who really knows what to expect? Whether you’re a first-time parent or a seasoned one, in a stable relationship or flying solo, everyone is navigating this journey as best they can. I’ve been part of numerous parenting forums and found that all mothers, regardless of their circumstances, are figuring it out as they go. I may face challenges, but the autonomy of making decisions about my child’s upbringing without having to consult anyone else is liberating. Many women have thrived in less-than-ideal situations, and with my conscious choice to embark on this path, I’m confident in my ability to succeed. -
“Good! You’ve been wanting this for so long!”
When I finally shared my plans with my father, I spent days preparing myself for his reaction, fearing disappointment. I requested he refrain from commenting immediately, knowing that his approval might take time. Among all the unsolicited remarks I received, his affirmation was the most heartening.
So, why am I awake at this hour? My pregnancy is transforming me into a more resilient individual, equipping me to handle insensitivity and misconceptions. Writing this serves as a reminder of my purpose: to become a mother despite societal judgments. Ultimately, I am forging my path, and outside opinions will not deter me.
If you’re interested in more insights on home insemination, check out this blog post on intracervical insemination. For those considering their options, Make A Mom offers excellent resources and products related to at-home insemination. If you’re looking for guidance throughout your pregnancy, March of Dimes is a wonderful resource.
Summary
Choosing to become a single mom by choice often invites unsolicited opinions and concerns from others. However, the journey is deeply personal and filled with love and intention. While there may be challenges ahead, the ability to create a nurturing environment and supportive community is paramount. Embracing this path allows for a unique and fulfilling experience of motherhood.