As a pediatrician, I often encounter parents struggling with the transition of their little ones into the tumultuous tween years. I have a 12-year-old son, Jake, who recently expressed a desire to paint his room a dark shade. Instead of dismissing his idea outright, I suggested a deep navy as a compromise. He loved it! Watching him evolve from a carefree child into a complex tween is both fascinating and challenging—even if tweens can be a handful. Here’s why those supposedly annoying traits can actually be quite remarkable.
1. Tweens are messy because they have their priorities straight.
Jake often neglects personal hygiene, much to my chagrin. He’s much more interested in diving into video games and reading graphic novels than worrying about whether his hair is tidy. He’s not focused on impressing peers; he’s engaged in pursuits that truly excite him.
2. Tweens may cringe at your presence, yet they still seek your validation.
Jake often rolls his eyes at my attempts to connect—like when I dance in the kitchen or sing along to his favorite songs. However, when I praise his creativity in his latest comic strip, he beams and reminds me why I’m still a “cool mom.”
3. Tweens rebel against rules as they assert their independence.
Jake has a love-hate relationship with schoolwork, often questioning the relevance of subjects like math. Despite his protests, he manages to keep up with his grades, showcasing a wit and humor that often surprises me. He’s forging his own path.
4. Tweens can be loud because they are discovering their unique voices.
Jake has found his musical taste and plays punk rock at a volume that rattles the windows. This loud expression is a newfound freedom for him, and it’s exciting to see him explore who he is through music and self-expression.
5. Tweens test limits because they crave growth.
Jake frequently challenges household rules and loves to negotiate. He experiments with language, often prefacing his attempts at swearing with a cheeky “Excuse me, I’m going to swear.” It’s a humorous phase that makes me both proud and amused.
6. Tweens embrace quirks as they navigate their identity.
Jake sometimes draws unusual designs on his arms or wears mismatched socks—a display of his originality. He doesn’t care about others’ opinions; he’s confidently figuring out what makes him happy.
7. Tweens resist being coddled because they’re ready to take on responsibilities.
When reminiscing about his early years, Jake scoffs at the idea of playing with dolls but has instead turned to selling them to donate the proceeds to a local animal shelter. It’s heartwarming to see him care for others.
8. Tweens may act distant, yet they appreciate your company.
Jake often retreats to his room after school, only emerging for snacks. However, he still invites me to watch his favorite shows together, cherishing the time we share even as he seeks his independence.
Raising a tween comes with its own set of challenges, but beneath the surface, they are exploring their identities and asserting their independence. They may drive us to the brink sometimes, but it’s essential to recognize the incredible potential they possess.
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Summary:
Navigating the tween years can be overwhelming for parents, but it’s crucial to appreciate the unique traits that come with this stage of development. From their loud expressions of individuality to their surprising empathy, tweens are on a journey of self-discovery that can be both challenging and rewarding.